Too Much Feeling
It's a Tuesday night,
and I'm on my bed,
Replaying every single word you said.
You said my name,
then you laughed at a joke,
And somehow that's enough to make me choke.
I don't understand the way my mind works,
How a tiny little moment can suddenly hurt.
I turn my music up,
but I hear you instead,
You're playing every instrument inside my head.
And I know it's only a crush,
But why does it feel like so much?
Why can't
I put it down?
Why do I keep
turning it around?
It's too much feeling for one little heart,
Too many thoughts that keep tearing apart The quiet I need and
the sleep I should get,
The things I remember,
the things I regret.
I don't want to cry when you mention his name,
I don't want to smile when you look my way.
I wish I could tell you,
I wish I could breathe,
There's a whole other world that you don't see in me.
It's too much feeling.
It's too much you.
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
My best friend asks if I'm doing okay,
I tell her I'm tired,
then change what I say.
How do you explain that you're sad and you're fine,
That nothing went wrong,
but you're losing your mind?
I don't want your pity,
don't want you to know,
How every small moment has nowhere to go.
So I write it in notebooks and sing to the wall,
And pretend that these feelings aren't feelings at all.
Maybe I don't have to solve it tonight.
Maybe I don't have to make it all right.
Maybe I can feel it without being ashamed,
Maybe a heart doesn't need someone to blame.
I'll let the tears fall.
I'll let the song play.
I don't have to figure out
My whole life today.
It's too much feeling for one little heart,
But maybe I don't have to tear it apart.
I'll take all the memories,
the good and the bad,
The happiest moments, the nights that I've had.
I can love you quietly,
I can feel this ache,
I can give my heart a little room to break Away from
the stories
I thought we would be.
There's a whole other world
Waiting for me.
It's too much feeling.
But it's still mine to feel.