Koah & Royalty (Until They’re Home)

Koah...

Royalty...

and Abigail.

I have watched you walk through a darkness no young woman ought

to know.

But you kept putting one foot in front of the other,

even when the road gave you no reason to.

I'm proud of how far you've come,

sweetheart.

And I believe those babies will know every mile you walked to

find your

way back home.

Four years

of doors that shook at night

Four years of learning wrong from right

I wore my silence like a chain

And hid my bruises in the rain

I missed Koah's second birthday

Missed the firsts I can't replay

My four-month-old was growing fast

Now seven months

— and time won't pass

But I am still here,

still breathing

Still reaching through the dark

Koah and Royalty, my babies You are the beating of my heart

They may have taken all my tomorrows

And scattered them like stones

But every road I walk through sorrow Is one step closer home

I learned to sleep beside the ache

To mend the pieces no one takes

A mother's arms remember weight

Even empty, they still ache

I hear your laughter in the hall

I see your silhouettes on the wall

And every milestone that I miss

Lives like a bruise beneath a kiss

But I am still here,

still believing

Still calling through the dark

Koah and Royalty, my babies You are the compass of my heart

They may have taken all my tomorrows But they can't take what

I know

Every tear becomes a river

And every river leads me home

If you ever wonder where I was I was fighting to become

The kind of mother you could run to

The kind of safe I'd never known

I am healing, I am learning I am more than what was

done

And I will keep the light on waiting

Till my little ones

come home

I am still here,

still standing

With your names beneath my skin

Koah and Royalty, my babies I will find my way back in

I have crawled out of the darkness

I have carried every scar

And no distance, court,

or sorrow

Can undo the things we are

You are loved beyond the telling

You are loved through every mile...

Mama's coming, Koah...

Royalty...

I love you... my babies...

I—