Inkwashed Goodbyes
Lane called me crying,
said you were gone
Told me the story,
I believed every word
Knelt by my bed every night till dawn
Prayed for a miracle nobody heard
I wrote your name
where my feet would go
Carried you with me,
didn't let it show
You were a ghost that I built a church for
Candles and silence, I gave you the floor
Turns out the casket was never real
Turns out you're laughing at the way I kneel
William kept quiet,
played his part well
Watched me unravel, watched me fall apart
Two kids snickering,
keeping their secret
While I was out here
memorizing your heart
I wrote your name
where my feet would go
Didn't know the girl,
didn't know the show
You were a joke wearing a eulogy
Dressed up in sorrow just to study me
Flirted with a boy you knew would break
Found out grief was easy to fake
Scrubbing ink off canvas,
off rubber, off skin
Can't erase the nights I let you
in
You held a mirror up to stupid,
sweet, and blind Now I'm the punchline living in my mind (oh-oh-oh)
Saw you at the party,
laughing with your crew
Lane gave me a look like "sorry,
not sorry"
You didn't flinch when I walked up to you
Just another chapter in your story
You were a headline I grieved for nothing
A manipulation dressed as suffering
Lied straight through that angel face
Now I'm washing your name off my shoelace
No miracle coming,
no prayer to send Just a boy who learned where performance ends
I'm lacing up new ones,
starting clean
Burying the version of you I'd never seen