Weight of Silence

Yeah...

Sometimes you feel like a ghost in your own life,

you know?

Like you're just fixing everybody else's broken pieces...

While your own world is completely shattering.

And you're standing at a crossroads,

just...

drowning in your own head.

Listen.

I’m pouring water on fires that ain't even mine to fight Playing

superhero cape until the middle of the night Listening to everybody's problems,

taking all their weight Hoping that if I save them,

maybe my own soul can wait But my cup is empty,

yeah, the well has run completely dry Looked in the mirror this

morning, couldn't even meet my eye And the darkest voice inside my

head is whispering a lie: Saying “Everybody’s better off if you just

let it die, If you just

fade out, step back,

and let 'em breathe.” Like my existence is a burden that they’re

forced to receive I put a smile on my face so they

don't see the crack

Carrying the world with a target on my back.

And I’m standing at the edge,

trying to figure out the path Doing all the equations,

but I'm hating all the math Should I stay where it's comfortable,

ball out on the court?

Keep running with the same old friends,

playing my favorite sport?

Or do I pack it up,

make a change, start a brand-new life?

Leave the familiarity, the comfort,

and the strife— Put the pads on for the gridiron,

leave the past behind?

Chasing something fresh, hoping peace is what I’ll find?

High school hallways feel like walking through a maze Trapped inside the

same routine for all these crowded days Got the basketball in my

hands, shots I used to love to make But my heart ain't

in it like it used to,

God, for goodness' sake Is it loyalty keeping me here,

or just fear of the unknown?

Terrified of walking through those brand-new doors alone Seeing my friends every

day, laughing at the usual jokes While inside my chest,

the anxiety slowly chokes Option A: Stay.

Keep the crew, keep the game.

Keep numbing out the pain,

keeping everything the same.

Option B: Leave. Go to a school where nobody knows my name.

Step out on the football field,

let the anger turn to flame.

And I’m paralyzed...

I don't know what to choose.

Every single option feels like

something that I lose.

Stay and drown slowly with the people that I know?

Or take a leap of faith into the dark,

and let it go?

Do they even need me here,

or am I just in the way?

God, I wish I had a sign to tell me what to

say...

And I’m standing at the edge,

trying to figure out the path Doing all the equations,

but I'm hating all the math Should I stay where it's comfortable,

ball out on the court?

Keep running with the same old friends,

playing my favorite sport?

Or do I pack it up,

make a change, start a brand-new life?

Leave the familiarity, the comfort,

and the strife— Put the pads on for the gridiron,

leave the past behind?

Chasing something fresh, hoping peace is what I’ll find?

Everybody's better off...

Nah. That’s just the depression talking.

I’m just tired. I’m so tired of fighting for everyone else...

When I forgot how to fight for

myself.

Basketball...

football... staying...

leaving...

I just want to breathe (ahhhh)