The Weight of a Mountain

Everybody said grief gets lighter with time

(ahhh) nobody said some grief isn't meant to,

nobody said some grief is a climb

not a weight you set down

but a weight you learn to carry upward

every year a little higher,

every year the air a little more awkward

Mountains aren't built gently.

Mountains are built by violence held very still

two things colliding for longer than anyone can remember until

something has to give,

and what gives becomes the peak

I didn't become stronger.

I just stopped expecting this to be weak

The weight.

Of a

mountain.

I am not above this.

I am made of this.

The weight.

Of a

mountain.

Some things you don't get over.

You get built by.

(built by...)

I used to think the summit meant I'd finally left the weight

below

now I understand the mountain doesn't work like that,

doesn't let go of what made it.

The weight isn't something I'm carrying anymore.

The weight is what I am now.

That's not the same as being sure. (hmmmm)