Debby’s Lullaby

Welcome to the Kindergarten Coliseum!

In the left corner:

Divorce Kid!

In the right corner:

Short Kid!

Keep it silly—no biting!

Yo, I'm five and I'm here to play,

Got two birthdays every year,

hooray!

Two toy boxes, double the snacks,

You're so short you need a map for your backpack! (hahaha)

You're bragging way too much,

that's kinda wild, I can still outrun you by a mile.

I'm pocket-sized, built for speed,

You need two calendars just to know where to eat!

You're so tiny,

where'd you go?

Stand behind a crayon?

I'll never know!

Need a ladder for the monkey bars?

You look like an action figure driving toy cars!

At least I fit in every fort,

You're built like a backpack at the airport!

And while you're busy packing bags,

I'm winning every game of tag!

You ask for the top shelf?

Better wait. The cookies are gone by the time you're eight!

You need binoculars just to see the sink,

You disappear every time somebody blinks!

You think that's funny?

Here's my reply: I don't hit my head on stuff that's way

too high! I'm fun-sized,

legendary, tiny but bold,

You're still losing at rock-paper-scissors,

bro!

Okay... you're quick.

Okay...

you've got twice the birthday cake.

Cake?

Cake. ...Let's go eat cake.

And the winner is...

the cake!