Fading Before Silence

I heard your key and fixed my face

Wiped my eyes before you saw

You asked me what I’d done all evening

I said, “Nothing much at all” You kissed my head and kept

on walking I stood there wanting you to stay I’d spent all

day preparing sentences Then watched my courage slip away

I know you’ve had a long day

I know you need your rest But when is there a little

time For what’s been hurting in my chest?

I can’t do this anymore

Keep saying I’m okay

Lie beside the one I love And feel so far away

I don’t want another lover

I wanted more of you

More than “Sorry, I’ve been busy” More than “What am I supposed

to do?” I still want your arms around me

That’s what makes this hurt

I can’t do this anymore

But I don’t know how to leave you first

I started telling you a story You smiled before I reached the

end

I realised you weren’t really listening So I didn’t try again

I used to call you on my way home Just to hear

about your day

Now I sit outside a little longer With the engine off,

afraid

Afraid we’ll have another evening Where we hardly say a thing

Then you’ll reach for me at midnight And I’ll give in again

For a moment I believe it

That we’re finding our way back

But the morning comes between us

And I don’t know how to ask

I can’t do this anymore

Keep saying I’m okay

Lie beside the one I love And feel so far away

I don’t want another lover

I wanted more of you

More than “Sorry, I’ve been busy”

More than “What am I supposed to do?” I still want your

arms around me

That’s what makes this hurt

I can’t do this anymore

But I don’t know how to leave you first

If I put my bag beside the door Would you finally put

your phone down? Would you ask me what I needed And have

time to hear me out?

I don’t want to have to leave you Just to know you

want me here

Could you hold me while I’m talking?

Could you listen through the tears?

I can’t do this anymore

So tonight I’ll say it plain I’ve been lonely here beside you

And I need for us to change I don’t want another lover

I still want a life with you

But I can’t keep making excuses For the things we never do

I still want your arms around me

Can you meet me where I am?

I can’t do this anymore Please tell me that you understand

You asked me what was wrong…

This time I told you.

This time I let you see.