Traded For Mahjong

(aw yeah, listen

up

boys!)

Friday nights used to be our time A little candlelight,

a little red wine She’d whisper sweet nothings

and turn down the light Now she’s grabbing her tile bag and

kissing me goodnight

I said, Honey, what’s happened to our romance?

She said, I’ve got a date with the girls and a Charleston

dance! I thought I was still her number one But apparently,

I’m not as exciting as a One Bam!

My wife traded my dong for Mahjong

Now she’s clicking those tiles all night long!

She used to play with me,

now she’s playing with Bams And I’m sitting home alone with my

head in my hands She’s got jokers and dragons and a brand-new

rack And I’m wondering when I’m getting my baby back!

I used to be the king,

but something went wrong My wife traded my dong for Mahjong!

She says,

I need a pair!

I say, Honey, I’m here!

She says, Not that kind,

darling,

now go get me a beer!

She hollers,

I need a Kong!

and I jump from my chair

She says, Sit back down,

you’re not even a player!

She’s chasing those flowers,

those dots, and those cracks While I’m reminiscing about our old midnight

snacks I offered her romance,

she said, Don’t be a pest I’ve got three more hands and

I’m playing my best!

My wife traded my dong for Mahjong

Now she’s clicking those tiles all night long!

She’s got a One Bam bird and a joker to spare But

the only thing I’m getting is an empty chair She’s got her

lucky card and her Mahjong crew And I’m starting to wonder what

a husband’s supposed to do!

The honeymoon’s over, the tiles came along My wife traded my dong

for Mahjong!

(let her rip!)

I tried wearing cologne,

tried cooking her steak

Tried dancing around in my birthday suit late

She looked up and said,

Honey, you’re blocking my view—

And unless you’re a joker,

I’ve got no use for you!

So I bought me a rack and I learned how to play

Figured I’d win my sweet woman back someday But now I’m addicted,

and here’s the sad truth:

We’re both chasing jokers instead of our youth!

My wife traded my dong for Mahjong

And I thought she’d lost her mind all along

Now we’re both at the table,

making tiles clack But somebody’s still gotta put some romance back!

So here’s to the husbands who’ve suffered this wrong

Who’ve lost all their loving to a game of Mahjong Raise up

your glasses and sing this sad song— MY WIFE TRADED MY DONG…

FOR MAHJONG!

“Darlin’, how about a little action tonight?” “Sure,

honey.

You bringing the jokers?” “…Lord,

help me.” (laughter and cheering)