Josiah’s Eternal L

(hahaha!) Ayo, who let Josiah cook?

Bro burned the kitchen,

the house, and the neighborhood.

Josiah walks in like the world's his stage

Main character syndrome, side of no brain

Thinks he's top of the list,

so grand Disappear for a week,

nobody gives a damn

Gooning so much his hand needs PTO

Parasocial relationship with his own libido Screen time looking like a career

in here If embarrassment was water,

you'd be drowning all year Thinks he's mysterious,

thinks he's elite Chronically online,

absolute freak Talks like a legend,

walks like a king When Josiah talks,

nobody hears a thing

JOSIAH! Bro, you're not him!

Ego's a mansion, relevance is slim

You think you're the prize,

barely the gift Type of dude a group chat mutes real quick

JOSIAH! Get yourself together!

Down horrendous since the dawn of forever

You think you're the plot,

just background noise

Even the tutorial NPC has more poise!

Acts zesty, swears he's a threat

Only thing intimidating is your internet debt Flirting with attention like it

pays rent Every word makes the whole room repent Thinks he's got

aura, thinks he's got charm Social appeal of a loud fire alarm

Confidence high, self-awareness is dead Whole circus running round inside his head

Enters the room like the crowd's gonna cheer So quiet you can

hear his insecurities appear Thinks every moment revolves around him No plot,

just embarrassing filler episodes on repeat

"Scientists have studied Josiah for several years." Their findings?

Ego: one hundred percent.

Aura: minus nine thousand.

Self-awareness: nonexistent.

Gooning addiction: Wi-Fi provider concerned.

Main character status: rejected at casting.

Josiah's the reason the mute button exists

Human equivalent of an update you dismiss

If delusional was an Olympic sport

Bro would win gold,

then brag in court

Thinks he's the man,

one of a kind Embarrassing,

out-of-pocket, terminally online

Chasing validation running from the law Reality is your hater and it

wins them all No redemption arc,

no development spark

Personality of a loading screen in the dark

Wants to be famous,

whole world to see Only thing viral is secondhand embarrassment for free

JOSIAH!

You're a walking L!

Your whole existence is a side quest fail!

Think you're the GOAT,

you're not even the sheep Reason the group chat has a chat

to keep! You goon like it's work,

no vacation days Chronically online in a thousand ways Think you're the

hero, the legend, the star— Bro,

you're not even important enough to be the villain!

Josiah: "Why's everybody hating?" (hah!) Everybody:

"Bro, this song is long,

and somehow you're still the least interesting part."