3AM Walls

Yeah…

It’s funny, innit?

Everybody asks if you’re okay…

But nobody really wants to know.

(quiet inhale)

I’ve been holding this in for so long…

I don’t even know how to let it go.

Oh…

no…

Wake up, look alive,

put the same face on,

Tell another little lie just to carry me on.

Got a phone full of names,

still nobody to call,

I can stand in a crowd,

feel alone through it all.

I’ve been saying “I’m good” for a thousand days,

Got a thousand little thoughts that I bury away.

Everybody sees the laugh,

never sees what it costs,

Never sees all the nights that I’ve silently lost.

And I hate that I hide when I’m hurting inside,

But I’m scared if I open up,

they’ll see through the disguise.

So I joke, change the subject,

say I’m tired instead,

Then I lie in the dark with a war in my head.

(mmm) I don’t know why it’s so hard to explain,

How you smile in the sunshine but you’re drowning in rain.

I’ve got things I wanna say,

got emotions I fight,

And they always get louder in the middle of the night.

And I try…

(soft falsetto)

God, I try…

But there’s things I can’t tell you,

no matter how hard I try.

If you looked in my eyes,

would you see what I hide?

Would you stay for a minute if I stopped saying I’m fine?

It’s three AM, I’m talking to the walls,

Say I’m doing fine,

but I’m breaking when I fall.

Got a smile on my face,

but I’m tired of it all,

Everybody hears me laughing,

no one hears me when I call.

Oh-oh-oh, why’s it hurt this way?

I keep chasing peace,

but it runs away.

Tell the whole damn world that I’m okay,

Then I cry in the dark when the sky turns grey.

(when the sky turns grey…)

Ooh, I’m so tired of pretending,

Ooh, I don’t know where I’m heading.

Three AM and my heart still aches,

How much more can a young heart take?

Rain on the window,

got my head in a spin,

Tryna fix what’s outside when it’s broken within.

Got a room full of memories I don’t wanna replay,

Every time I close my eyes,

they come back anyway.

And they tell me I’m strong,

so I play that role,

Put a lock on my feelings,

keep control of my soul.

But the truth is,

sometimes, I don’t know what to do,

I’m the one giving advice while I’m struggling too.

I’ve been there for my brothers when they’re losing their way,

Told them, “Talk to me,

man, you don’t have to be brave.” But when it’s my turn,

I just stare at the floor,

Funny how I give love but can’t ask for more.

And I’m sick of the pressure holding it inside,

Sitting all alone with nowhere left to hide.

Can you hear me breaking through the ceiling?

I don't think I've ever shared this feeling…

I'm so terrified of letting someone close,

'Cause the ones you love are who can hurt you most! (ahhhh)

It’s three AM, I’m talking to the walls,

Say I’m doing fine,

but I’m breaking when I fall!

Got a smile on my face,

but I’m tired of it all,

Everybody hears me laughing,

no one hears me when I call!

Oh-oh-oh, why’s it hurt this way?

I keep chasing peace,

but it runs away.

Tell the whole damn world that I’m okay,

Then I cry in the dark when the sky turns grey!

(when the sky turns grey…)

Talking to

the walls…

(just

me and the walls…) Yeah.