Diss Against Gandhi
“Right, gentlemen.
Apparently, Gandhi’s got another bloody announcement.
He’s stopped eating again!
(hahahaha!) Somebody get this little bastard a fucking biscuit!”
Oi Gandhi, you miserable little bastard,
Look at your outfit,
mate, you look like a disaster.
Bald little skull, round glasses on your face,
Walking round the country like you’ve misplaced your briefcase.
You call yourself a leader?
You’re a walking contradiction,
Got the whole bloody country caught up in your addiction.
Addicted to your speeches,
addicted to attention, Every time you start fasting,
we receive another petition.
You picked up some salt,
now you’re king of the nation?
You broke a fucking law,
congratulations! Dandi Beach, 1930,
what a glorious scene,
A half-dressed little lawyer making headlines for the Queen.
You spin your little wheel,
you preach your little peace,
You think a hungry stomach makes the British Empire cease?
You want us out of India?
Well, here’s a little tip: Stop acting like a prophet with your
head up your own arse,
you prick!
FUCK YOUR SPEECHES! FUCK YOUR PLAN!
YOU AIN’T THE MASTER,
YOU AIN’T THE MAN!
QUIT INDIA! HEAR YOU SCREAM!
WE’RE THE CROWN, YOU’RE JUST A DREAM!
FUCK YOUR FASTING! FUCK YOUR PRIDE!
YOU CAN’T MAKE AN EMPIRE RUN AND HIDE!
SAY IT LOUD,
SAY IT AGAIN!
THE BLOODY RAJ IS HERE,
MY FRIEND!
Nehru, you posh little bastard with your fancy attire,
Writing independence speeches while you’re playing with fire.
Talking about freedom, socialism and rights,
Better get yourself ready for some very long nights.
And Bose, you bastard,
now you’ve crossed the line,
Taking on the Empire with your army and design.
Indian National Army, marching into the fray,
You thought you’d send the British packing in a day?
Quit India, 1942, now the streets are getting wild,
Every politician’s acting like a revolutionary child.
Congress wants us gone,
what a wonderful surprise,
You lot have got ambition,
but you’ve underestimated the size.
“Do you know what your problem is,
Gandhi?
You think the British Empire is going to surrender
because you refuse a fucking sandwich.
Absolutely extraordinary.”
We came with the Crown,
we came with the fleet,
You came with a spinning wheel and bare fucking feet.
You brought your little marches,
your speeches and your cries,
We’re sitting in the office while the sun sets in your eyes.
But history’s a bastard,
and the future’s unknown,
The very same empire thinks it sits on a throne.
You can laugh at the Raj,
you can spit at its name,
But the world is watching how you play this game.
FUCK YOUR SPEECHES! FUCK YOUR PLAN!
YOU AIN’T THE MASTER,
YOU AIN’T THE MAN!
QUIT INDIA! HEAR YOU SCREAM!
THE CROWN’S TOO BIG FOR YOUR LITTLE DREAM!
“Well, gentlemen.
I must say, this has been
terribly entertaining.
Now, who’s stolen my bloody tea?”