Choking Silence

You call me names in my own head Spit on my thoughts,

leave me for dead Say I’m a mess,

say I’m a joke Wrap your hands round my throat

Every word lands like a knife Every lie feels like my life

You make me doubt what I made You make me fear what

I say

I’m tired of fighting my mirror Tired of hearing you near You

say I ruin everything

And I start to believe

You’re choking me

I can’t breathe

You’re choking me

I hate your teeth

I’m still here

I’m still here

Please let go

Please disappear

(please let go)

You take the blame and pin it on me Turn every scar

into a prophecy “Can’t do anything right,” you say

Then you laugh when I break

I look at my hands and shake Feel like I’m one bad

thought away From losing the whole damn fight From folding into the

night

I’m tired of fighting my mirror Tired of hearing you near You

say I ruin everything

And I start to believe

You’re choking me

I can’t breathe

You’re choking me

I hate your teeth

I’m still here

I’m still here

Please let go Please disappear (please let go)

If I stay, maybe this will pass If I breathe,

maybe it won’t last I don’t need your cruel fake truth

I need one step through I can’t fix you in one night

But I can light up this one small light I can hurt

and still hold on I can break and still be strong

You’re choking me

I can’t breathe

You’re choking me

I hate your teeth

I am here

I am here Not your shame Not your fear I

won’t go I won’t go

Let me live Let me grow

(let me grow)