Beneath the Toll

I said I was fine,

said I'd moved on,

Deleted your number, but kept your song.

Told all my friends that I didn't care,

But every time I turn around,

you're there.

I hate that I still remember,

The little things you used to do,

I tell myself it's getting better,

But I still look for you.

And I don't wanna miss you,

I don't wanna feel this way,

But the hardest part of letting go

Is wanting you to stay.

You're still in my system,

Running through my veins,

I try to forget you,

But nothing feels the same.

I can tell myself I'm over

it,

Say your name don't hurt,

But you're still in my system,

And I can't get you out of my world.

I wonder if you ever think about me,

Or if I'm just a name you don't say,

Do you ever drive past somewhere

And wish that things had stayed?

I keep replaying conversations,

Looking for what I missed,

How did something feel like everything

Turn into something like this?

And I don't wanna need you,

I don't wanna feel this pain,

But every time I think I'm healing,

It all comes back again.

You're still in my system,

Running through my veins,

I try to forget you,

But nothing feels the same.

I can tell myself I'm over it,

Say your name don't hurt,

But you're still in my system,

And I can't get you out of my world.

Maybe one day I'll hear your name,

And it won't feel like a loaded gun,

Maybe one day I'll look back And wonder why I ever held

on. But tonight I still feel everything,

Even things I wish I didn't know,

It's strange how someone can leave your life,

But still be so hard to let go.

You're still in my system,

Running through my veins,

I'm trying to forget you,

But I still feel the same.

I'm tired of saying I'm over

it, When I know that it still hurts,

(still hurts) You're still in my system,

But I'm finally putting myself first.

One day you'll just be someone,

I used to know so well,

And maybe that's the hardest part,

Learning to live without you here.

Still in my system...

But not forever.