Best Worst Exes
My ex bought a gym membership with my cash Then used it
to hit on my cousin at a tailgate bash My ex called
the cops on me late one night
Because I changed the Netflix password during our fight
Oh girl, it’s a circus,
he’s the main event
I’m still trying to figure out where my sanity went!
Well, my ex showed up at my family dinner party late
With a black eye he got from a vending machine gate
He tried to tell my mom he was an amateur chef While
burning the toast and making everyone deaf
Oh girl, grab the bottle,
you ain't heard the worst He’s the reason my good mood is
officially cursed! Was he fake?
Was he cheap? Did he promise you the world then go fast
asleep? Was he petty?
Was he textin'? His mama for advice on the girl he was
vexing? When it comes to the clowns,
yeah, we ran the whole show We’re the queens of the stories
that nobody should know Yeah,
line 'em right up,
let the drama commence Our best worst exes don't make any sense!
My ex called my cell phone from a blocked-out number To ask
if I still had his favorite cucumber blender!
My ex left his dog at my house for a week Then
forgot that he owned one,
man, the outlook is bleak!
So here’s to the guys who thought they were smooth The ones
who got traded because they couldn't groove They gave us the laughs
and a whole lot of text And the absolute title of the
ultimate ex!
Was he fake? Was he cheap?
Did he promise you the world then go fast asleep?
Was he petty? Was he textin'?
His mama for advice on the girl he was vexing?
When it comes to the clowns,
yeah, we ran the whole show We’re the queens of the stories
that nobody should know Yeah,
line 'em right up,
let the drama commence Our best worst exes don't make any sense!
Yeah, they don't make sense...
Climbing right over the neighborhood fence.
Keep the wine pouring high!
Wave 'em goodbye. (hahaha)