bargains for perdition
He didn't have horns.
Didn't smell like smoke.
He had a business card...
And a very good joke.
Devil walked in wearing shoes from a clearance rack,
Said, "I can make you rich." I said,
"Can I get my minutes back?" He laughed,
ordered water with a lime,
Said, "Everybody wants forever till they gotta spend the time." Had a
watch with no hands and a briefcase full of mirrors,
Said, "I don't make problems,
I just polish up your fears." Had a smile like a salesman
with a funeral to attend,
Said, "I never make you do it.
I just recommend."
He knew the waitress,
knew the owner by his debt,
Knew the things I hadn't done and the things I'd soon regret.
Said, "Selling souls? That's a prehistoric trade.
I teach 'em how to love the little cages that they made."
The devil wears a CHEAP SUIT!
Gold watch, plastic grin!
Never tells you where you're going,
Just how easy to begin!
No fire,
no pitchfork, No thunder
in the room!
Just a pen across the table
And a little more perfume!
Said, "I got a thousand clients,
all convinced they're self-employed,
Buying little pleasures to replace what they destroyed." I said,
"What's the rate?" He said,
"Whatever you can hide.
Most folks pay in pieces.
That's the beauty of the ride." He showed me politicians playing poker
with the priests, A billionaire complaining that his yacht was much too
cheap. A judge who sold forgiveness,
a thief who bought the law,
A preacher selling heaven with a coupon and a straw.
I said, "You must be doing well." He said,
"Business is a breeze.
People hand me all their freedom just to feel a little peace."
Then he leaned across the table,
whispered something strange:
"Nobody wants the devil,
son.
They just don't wanna change."
The devil wears a CHEAP SUIT!
Silk tie,
borrowed shoes!
Sells the winners their excuses,
Sells the losers better news!
No chains around your ankles,
No prison in the sky!
Just a thousand little bargains
And a very pleasant lie!
He slid a contract toward me,
said, "The ink is running dry." I said,
"Funny how you sell the truth but never tell me why." He
said, "The price is in the margins." I said,
"Margins can be moved." He said,
"Everybody signs." I said,
"Then everybody's fooled." I took his fountain pen and drew a little
door, On the napkin by his elbow,
where his shadow touched the floor.
Said, "You spend your whole existence getting people to agree.
But a deal ain't worth the paper if the customer is free."
For the first time he went quiet.
Even clocks forgot to tick.
Then he smiled and said,
"You're a clever little prick." Left a twenty for the waitress,
took his briefcase and his pride,
Said, "I'll see you in the morning." I said,
"You can wait outside."
THE DEVIL WEARS A CHEAP SUIT!
AND HE KNOWS YOUR FAVORITE SONG!
HE DON'T NEED TO MAKE YOU EVIL—
JUST CONVINCE YOU NOTHING'S WRONG!
NO FIRE! NO BRIMSTONE!
NO MONSTERS IN THE NIGHT!
JUST A MAN WHO SELLS YOU DARKNESS WHILE HE CALLS IT TURNING
ON THE LIGHT!
The waitress brought the check.
I looked down at the bottom.
He'd already paid.