Nanxiety Drop
Condiment,
we need to talk about the Nanas What about the Nanas?
The Babs.
The Baps. The fish
Don't start with the slop and flop,
I'm already feeling Nanziety NANZIETY?!
Yeah mate,
Nan-related anxiety,
what if I accidentally say it to her?
(brrrap brrrap brrrap) SHE MUST NEVER KNOW!
Me and Condiment in the kitchen at two Talking 'bout Nanas and
the things that they do Babs in the van with a bap
in her hand Serving wet fish specials all across the land Got
a slop on the left,
got a flop on the right Got a Nana in the kitchen
and she's asking for a bite Said "Pass me the baps!" now
the whole room froze Condiment's sweating and his blood pressure rose He's
got one eye twitching,
he's losing his head Thinking 'bout the things that he shouldn't have
said He wants to say Nanziety,
he's gritting his teeth 'Cause his Nan's right there with her slippers
and teeth!
Nan-nan-nan-nan-NANA!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-BABS!
Slop!
Slop!
Flop! Flop! Don't say it in front of me Nan!
Fish! Fish! Wet fish!
Mate, you've got Nanziety!
(whispering) She's looking at me...
NA-NA-NA-NANZIETY!
Baps on the table,
bassline dirty Condiment's sweating,
looking all shifty Slop to the left and the flop to the
right Nana said "What's that?" we're gone for the night!
NANZIETY! NANZIETY! Don't say baps when your Nan's in the vicinity!
SLOP AND FLOP! SLOP AND FLOP!
Babs in the van and she won't ever stop!
WET FISH! WET FISH!
Condiment's panicking, he's in a crisis!
(wicka-wicka brrrap)
IT'S NOT NANA ANXIETY,
IT'S NANZIETY!
Condiment walks in,
says "What's the special today?"
Babs says "Wet fish,
love, now get out my way"
There's a battered old bap and a suspicious-looking slop And Babs has
got a D&B set at the local bus stop Oi Condiment mate,
do you fancy a bap?
He nearly hits the deck and he falls in her lap He
wants to say slop but he swallows the word Making weird noises
like a distressed garden bird It's just a bit of fish,
that's what he claims Can't say baps without feeling the shame Nan
says "What's Nanziety love,
is it something you eat?" Condiment's gone silent,
can't move his feet I said "It's a medical condition,
it's perfectly real!" Nan said "Well put the kettle on,
I'll see how you feel"
Would you like a cup of tea,
darling? Yes, Nan.
And why are you sweating?
It's...
the bassline.
Ask him about the baps,
Nan
PLEASE DON'T!
What baps?
I've said too much
NA-NA-NA-NA-NANZIETY! Babs is banging baps with criminal intensity!
Slop in the bucket,
flop on the floor Condiment's got Nanziety,
he can't take no more!
BAPS! BAPS! BAPS! BAPS!
Everybody in the rave shouting BAPS!
SLOP! FLOP! FISH! NAN!
Babs is the queen and she's got a plan!
NANZIETY! NANZIETY! Keep that word away from the family!
WET FISH! WET FISH!
WHO'S GOT THE SLOP AND FLOP
SPECIAL DISH?!
So, did you tell your Nan?
No.
Did you say Nanziety?
Nearly. Did you have a bap?
Two.
Slop or flop? Both.
And the fish?
Mate, I'm never going round hers again (NAN-NAN-NAN-NANZIETY!) (BRRRAAAP)