Visit to Burger King
Gather round, you filthy dogs!
I've got a story to tell.
And not one word about Burger King!
(Burger King!)
Oh, thirty days we'd sailed the sea,
No meat, no cheese,
no fries for me!
(Poor Captain!) I hit the shore and saw the sign,
A Whopper, boys! I joined the line!
(Hungry dog!) A paper crown,
a tray, a seat,
And sauce so hot it melts the meat!
(Brave man!)
Burger King! Burger King!
Captain's gone to Burger King!
Whopper, fries, and a crown to wear,
King of the sea,
and he don't care!
I took one bite.
I took a few.
My belly roared, "We're done!
We're through!"
(Uh-oh!) I jumped right up and ran for the street,
I clenched my cheeks,
I clenched my feet!
(Squeeze!) I tried to run!
I nearly won! My pants gave up!
The deed was done!
(Oh no,
oh no!)
Burger King! Burger King!
He shat his pants at Burger King!
He kept the crown upon his head!
God save his pants!
His pants are dead!
The cashier froze. His face went white.
I said, "I'm fine!" I wasn't quite.
(Sure you were!)
He yelled, "Sir! You forgot your fries!" I yelled,
"KEEP 'EM!" to his surprise!
(Big spender!) I waddled back,
my legs spread wide,
My dirty pants were hard to hide.
(We can smell you!) I climbed aboard,
my crown held high,
And that's the truth!
I do not lie! (Liar!)
Burger King! Burger King!
He shat his pants at Burger King!
He kept the crown upon his head!
God save his pants!
His pants are dead!
Three cheers for Captain!
Hip hooray!
Just keep those trousers
far away!
Raise the sails! (Aye,
Captain!) We're leaving
this shithole!
Get me clean pants.
And don't touch
the
fucking
crown.