When love is not madness,
it is not love.
Pedro Calderón de la Barca.
Tonight, those words feel painfully true.
Love made me do irrational things.
It made me stay awake thinking
about one person.
It made ordinary moments feel extraordinary,
and simple conversations feel like they
mattered more than anything else.
It made me dream about futures
that may never happen now.
And now that it's over,
the madness remains.
There is a strange silence after
a breakup.
The phone is quieter.
The routines feel incomplete.
The mind keeps replaying memories like
an old song on repeat,
searching for the exact moment when
things changed.
I wonder if there was something
I could have said differently,
something I could have done better,
or if some endings are simply
written long before we realize we're
approaching them.
The truth is that love leaves
fingerprints everywhere—in songs,
in places,
in habits,
in the small things that suddenly
carry unbearable weight.
I miss what we had,
but I also miss who I
was when we were together.
Yet, if love was madness,
perhaps heartbreak is its withdrawal.
It hurts because it mattered.
It aches because it was real
to me.
I refuse to see this ending
as a failure.
Some people enter our lives to
stay forever.
Others arrive to teach us something
about ourselves and then leave.
Maybe this love taught me how
deeply I can care,
how vulnerable I can become,
and how much courage it takes
to open my heart despite knowing
that loss is always a possibility.
Tonight, I am grieving not only
a relationship,
but also the future I imagined.
And that's okay.
I don't need to have all
the answers right now.
I don't need to pretend I'm
fine. I only need to keep
moving forward,
one day at a time.
The memories will eventually become softer.
The pain will become lighter.
The madness will settle into wisdom.
And one day,
I will look back and realize
that this heartbreak did not destroy
me. It changed me.
For now,
I will let myself feel everything—the
sadness, the anger,
the longing,
and even the gratitude.
Because if it hurts this much,
then I truly loved.
And despite everything,
I think that's something worth honoring.