Beatbox Bonanza
Oh, here we go… Everybody move!
Lee's got a plan…
And that's usually where it all goes wrong!
Lee walks in like he owns the place,
Two left feet and a dangerous face.
Trips on nothing, falls on air,
How the hell did he get up there?
Keys in the fridge,
phone in the loo,
Says he's got a clue — he hasn't got two.
Starts one job, forgets what for,
Now he's halfway through the wrong front door!
He's got no sense of danger,
No idea what's next,
If trouble had a postcode,
Lee would be the address!
Oh Lee! You're an accident waiting to happen,
One more disaster and the whole world's laughing!
You fall down stairs just standing still,
You're not bad luck,
you're a bloody skill!
Oh Lee! What the hell are you doing?
Every time you move,
there's something breaking or ruining!
You're a walking warning sign,
A health and safety crime!
Oh Lee…
You're one of a kind!
He says, "I've got this," — famous last words,
Can't find his glasses,
they're on his head,
absurd! Burns the toast,
floods the floor, Then wonders why there's water at the door.
He fixes things that aren't even broke,
Leaves the room in a cloud of smoke.
He's got confidence, I'll give him that,
But common sense? He's misplaced that!
The ambulance knows him,
The neighbours know his name,
Even bloody Google Maps Says,
"Don't go that way!"
Oh Lee! You're an accident waiting to happen,
One more disaster and the whole world's laughing!
You fall down stairs just standing still,
You're not bad luck,
you're a bloody skill!
Oh Lee!
What the hell are you doing?
Every time you move,
there's something breaking or ruining!
You're a walking warning sign,
A health and safety crime!
And I love you,
Lee…
I really, really do…
But if stupidity was an Olympic sport,
You'd have a gold medal…
And probably drop it on your foot.
OH LEE! You're a one-man disaster,
Everything's fine till you get there faster!
Can't leave you alone for five minutes flat,
You'll break the house and blame the cat!
Oh Lee!
You're a national treasure,
A walking catastrophe beyond all measure!
But life's a laugh and that's the deal,
God help us all… WE'VE GOT LEE!
Ladies and gentlemen…
Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle.
Lee is driving.