Last Seen Online
I checked if you were online,
then hated that I cared.
Closed the app, reopened it,
like your absence might change there.
Two seventeen. Screen light.
Your name sitting under mine.
Said I wouldn't look tonight.
That promise lasted five.
Green light gone. Who got there first?
Why the hell did that sting?
I don't even want you back,
so why am I checking everything?
I don't miss you.
That's the line. I say it better every time.
I don't want to call.
I don't want you back.
I just need to know
you still look for me like that.
I checked if you were online.
Again. One green light,
one little sin. Didn't type.
Didn't call. Just needed proof I still get in.
I checked if you were online.
Don't make it love.
It isn't that.
Sometimes you don't miss the person— you miss knowing they might want
you back. (yeah)
Saw you changed your picture Tuesday.
Pretended I didn't zoom.
Saw somebody's hand beside you.
Spent ten minutes reading the room.
Laughed because it's pathetic.
Checked again at three.
Amazing how I'm over you and still need you over me.
Maybe ego wears your perfume.
Maybe loneliness knows your name.
Maybe I don't want the fire—
I just need to know you kept the flame.
I checked
if you were online.
Again. There. I fucking said it then.
Not fate. Not love.
Not heartbreak.
Just a habit underneath my skin.
Phone facedown. Then back again.
I don't need another chance with you.
I need to know
I still could win.
If you texted me tonight,
I'd wait before I answered.
Not
because I'm calm.
Because I want you wondering.
I'd type something casual.
Delete it.
Type again.
Not because I want you back—
I want to know
I could have you again.
That's worse, isn't it?
I checked if you were online.
Again.
No excuse left to defend.
Not love. Not fate.
Not missing you. Just
needing to know I'm
not forgotten at your end.
I checked if you were online because
some nights I need to see that somewhere behind another screen— you
might still be checking me.
Last seen two minutes ago.
Goodnight.