Boys

You came to practice talking 'bout a guy,

I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my lie.

You said he's cute,

you said he's sweet,

I kicked my sneakers underneath the seat.

You showed me pictures,

asked what I thought,

I said, "He's pretty," like my stomach wasn't tied in knots.

You said, "I hope he asks me out someday,"

I said, "Me too," then looked the other way.

She only likes boys,

boys, boys, And I'm just another one of her favorite girls.

She tells me her secrets,

she tells me her dreams,

She doesn't know she's the reason I can't sleep.

I hate that I hate every name that she drops,

I hate that my heart doesn't know when to stop.

It's not her fault,

but it still isn't fair,

To be the girl who loves her and pretends not to care.

She only likes boys.

And I'm not one of them.

I could be funnier,

I could be cool,

I could stop acting like an absolute fool.

I could be everything a girl should be,

And it still wouldn't make you fall for me.

I hate the way that sounds out loud,

Like I'm competing for a place in a crowd.

You never promised me a single thing,

So why does every boy's name sting?

I'M NOT MAD AT YOU!

I'M MAD THAT I CARE!

I'M MAD THAT I WISH YOU WOULD JUST TURN AND STARE!

I'M MAD THAT I'M HERE MAKING UP A FANTASY!

WHERE YOU FINALLY LOOK AND YOU FINALLY SEE ME!

She only likes boys,

boys, boys, And I'm screaming every word over distorted noise.

She tells me her secrets,

she tells me her dreams,

And I'm trying to be happy with what that means.

It's not her fault,

no, I know that it's true,

But I wish I could turn off these feelings for you.

She only likes boys.

And

I can't change that.

But

I can

stop pretending That it doesn't hurt like hell.