Quiet Flicker

I told them where the dark began They folded up the proof

My mother kept her hands in prayer My father called it youth

They speak around me,

not to me Like I am just a room

And every road they draw for me

Leads to a stranger soon They say be grateful,

lower your eyes

Let the house decide your life

Nobody

believes her

When she says she cannot stay

They dress her in a borrowed white And call it making way

They want to marry her to a Stegner

As if a name could make it true

Nobody

believes her

But she still knows what she knew

The invitations bloom like teeth Across the kitchen table

His name is pressed in heavy ink They tell me I am

able

I hear the lock turn in the hall I hear the future

breathe

They say a girl can learn to love Whatever she is given

to keep They say be quiet,

don't make a scene

A good daughter knows what they mean

Nobody

believes her

So she stops asking them to

She leaves the dress beside the door And lets the cold come

through

They wanted to marry her to a Stegner

They wanted her afraid and small

Nobody believed her

But she was there through all of it all

I know

what I

knew I know

what I knew