Life Gets Softer

I woke up tired today.

Not sleepy, just… tired.

Like I’ve been carrying something

I can’t even put down.

There are things I need to do,

things I said I’d do by now.

And I’m trying not to think too much about how long it’s

taking.

Everybody says, “Be patient.” I know.

I’m trying. I just wish somebody would tell me

it gets easier, too.

I hope life gets softer.

I hope things work out.

I hope one day I look around and don’t have so much

to worry about.

I hope the phone rings

with some good news for once.

I hope I stop saying,

“Maybe next time.” I hope I get my turn.

I don’t need everything.

I really don’t. I just hope life gets softer

than it has been.

Sometimes I laugh with everybody

and forget about my problems.

Then I get home,

and there they are.

Same plans.

Same questions.

Same things I’m trying to fix.

And I sit there for a while because I don’t know what

else to do.

I’m happy for the people

who are finally getting somewhere.

I mean that. I really do.

But sometimes I wonder when I’ll have a story that doesn’t start

with “I’m still trying.”

I hope life gets softer.

I hope things work out.

I hope one day I look around and don’t have so much

to worry about. I hope the phone rings with some good news

for once. I hope I stop saying,

“Maybe next time.” I hope I get my turn.

I don’t need everything.

I really don’t. I just hope life gets softer

than it has been.

Maybe I’m doing better

than I give myself credit for.

Maybe getting through the day

counts for something.

I don’t know.

I’m just tired of telling myself to be strong all the time.

Can something good happen without me having to survive ten other things

first?

Just once.

Just one thing.

I hope life gets softer.

I still believe it can.

I hope there’s a day I don’t have to

keep reminding myself to hold on.

I hope the people I love are okay.

I hope I’m okay,

too. I hope there’s more to this life than always making do.

I don’t need everything.

I really don’t. I just hope life gets softer.

And I hope,

when it does,

I’m here to feel it.

I’m still trying.

I guess that’s something.

I hope life gets softer.

I really do.