Sloppy Fish Rave
Oi, oi! Where’s me nans at?!
Wet fish in the tent!
Hot baps on deck!
Slop in the bucket!
And a bassline that’ll break your neck!
DJ, SPIN THAT FLOP!
We’ve got wet fish!
We’ve got wet baps!
We’ve got nans off their heads Doing two-step laps!
One in a cagoule,
one in a thong,
Who’s been slopping all night long?!
SL—SL—SLOP! FL—FL—FLOP! GRAB YOUR FISH AND MAKE IT DROP!
SLOP, SLOP, SLOP IN THE POT!
WET FISH RAVE AND THE CHIPPY’S HOT!
FLOP, FLOP, FLOP ON THE FLOOR!
NAN’S GOT A MACKEREL,
SHE’S ASKING FOR MORE!
BASS GO DUM, AND THE BAPS GO SQUELCH,
NAN’S IN THE PIT WITH A FISH IN HER BELT!
SLIPPY, SLAPPY, SLOPPY BASS,
WET FISH NANS IN A CHIPPY MASS!
Nanny’s got her pink shades on,
Been in the rave since half past one,
Got a battered cod in her bum bag pouch,
And a saveloy tucked in her blouse!
One-two-step with a soggy trout,
DJ drops it and the nans go OUT!
Granny’s in the corner doing the worm,
While the wet fish juices begin to turn!
Oi, you there,
in the plastic mac,
Put that floppy haddock back in the sack!
No dry baps here,
no ordinary night,
Just sloppy old fish under ultraviolet light!
When I say WET,
you say FISH!
WET!
— FISH! WET!
— FISH! When I say SLOP,
you say FLOP! SLOP!
— FLOP! SLOP! — FLOP!
NOW MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THE NANNY MOB!
SLOPPY LITTLE FISH, FLOPPY LITTLE BAP,
NAN’S ON THE DECK DOING A BACKWARDS SLAP!
WET WET WET, LET THE BASSLINE ROLL,
GOT A FLOPPY OLD FLOUNDER AND A HEART OF GOLD!
SLOP TO THE LEFT!
FLOP TO THE RIGHT!
CHUCK THAT COD AND RAVE ALL NIGHT!
BAP BAP BAP, FISH FISH FISH,
NAN’S IN THE TOILETS WITH A TUNA DISH!
Last orders at the chippy!
One more tune for the nans!
Someone’s lost a slipper!
Someone’s nicked the frying pans!
Wet fish festival… No refunds… No dry clothing… And absolutely NO SENSIBLE
GRANDMAS! SLOP! FLOP! WET FISH FOREVER,
YOU BASTARDS! DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM… SQUELCH!