Hold You Leaving

I put my keys beside the doorway

You’re watching something on your phone

I say I need to tell you something

You say, “Can we do this tomorrow?” There’s nothing waiting in the

hallway

No other love I’m running to

I just don’t like who I’ve been becoming

Waiting to feel close to you

I kept finding ways to stay

You kept thinking I was fine

Now I’m standing by the door

With words I couldn’t say last time

When I’m gone

Will you reach across the bed?

Will you think of something funny

And turn to where I used to sit?

When I’m gone

Will you finally understand?

I was asking you to love me

While you still could hold my hand

I don’t need you to regret it

I just wish you’d heard me then

When I’m gone

When I’m gone

I’ll miss the way you sang while cooking

The little smile you tried to hide

I know we had some lovely mornings

That’s what made it hard to decide

But I was lonely right beside you

And tired of explaining why

You’d hold me when I started leaving

Then let us drift again each time

If you ask me now to stay

I might want to say I will

But we’ve stood right here before

And I remember how it feels

When I’m gone

Will you reach across the bed?

Will you think of something funny

And turn to where I used to sit?

When I’m gone

Will you finally understand?

I was asking you to love me

While you still could hold my hand

I don’t need you to regret it

I just wish you’d heard me then

When I’m gone

When I’m gone

Maybe I’ll call out of habit

Maybe I’ll take the longer road

So I don’t pass our favourite café

Till it feels like somewhere I can go

Leaving doesn’t mean it’s easy

Or that all the love is gone

I can miss you every evening

And still know why I moved on

When I’m gone I’ll still reach across the bed

I’ll still think of something funny

And wish that I could tell you it

When I’m gone I’ll be learning how to stand

Without waiting for your answer

Without reaching for your hand

I don’t need you to regret it

I just wish you’d heard me then

When I’m gone

When I’m gone

I put my keys beside the doorway

This time I leave them there