Beater Wit The Heater
Aw, hell.
Now what’s that blinking for?
I ain’t even made it home yet.
At least the heater works.
Five minutes from the seller,
dashboard throwing me a sign,
Like the car waited politely till the paperwork was signed.
Got a cough from the exhaust,
got a rattle from the door,
Got a sound beneath the seat I swear I never heard before.
Pull up at a red light,
hear a raspberry attack,
Kid across the intersection starts to laugh behind my back.
Turn the radio up louder,
but the speaker sounds fried,
So the muffler does the bassline while I swallow up my pride.
Beater with a heater!
(Turn it up!) Got a hundred little problems but I’m pulling up!
Beater with a heater!
(There he goes!) Everybody on the block already knows!
Rattle when I idle,
whistle when I steer,
Got a whole damn orchestra underneath my rear!
Beater with a heater!
(Still alive!) If the wheels keep turning,
then we gonna ride!
Next morning, turn the key,
four-wheel light comes on,
Put it into drive
and suddenly the little icon’s gone.
Feather on the pedal,
can’t be heavy with my feet,
Cause the harder that I push,
the louder echoes down the street.
Scanner starts confessing like it’s caught up in a case,
Every code another bill I can’t afford to face.
Call the seller, straight to voicemail,
yeah, I should’ve known,
That ‘sold as-is’ was code for ‘you’re on your own.’
Beater with a heater!
(Turn it up!) Got a hundred little problems but I’m pulling up!
Beater with a heater!
(There he goes!) Everybody on the block already knows!
Rattle when I idle,
whistle when I steer,
Got a whole damn orchestra underneath my rear!
Beater with a heater!
(Still alive!) If the wheels keep turning,
then we gonna ride!
Trying to make deliveries,
trying to stack a little bread,
But the list of needed fixes keeps on growing in my head.
Everybody says ‘replace it’ like they’re handing me the cash,
I’m just trying to make a dollar,
not a payment on a Jag.
Still the heater’s blowing warm,
and the seat fits me just fine,
So I give the dash a side-eye and I tell it,
‘Get in line.’ Ain’t a dream car,
ain’t a show car,
got a thousand things to mend,
But I gotta get to work,
so we’re partners till the end.
Beater with a heater!
(Turn it up!) Got a hundred little problems but I’m pulling up!
Beater with a heater!
(There he goes!) Everybody on the block already knows!
Rattle when I idle,
whistle when I steer,
Got a whole damn orchestra underneath my rear!
Beater with a heater!
(Still alive!) If the wheels keep turning,
then we gonna ride!
Hold up. That check-engine light’s still on.
What’s this code even mean?
Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.