Backstage, Alone

They cleared the stage,

they cut the lights,

the crowd's already gone but backstage still feels like a stage,

so I'm keeping the act on Big smile for the crew,

big laugh for whoever's still around Backstage,

I'm still the legend,

still the loudest guy in town

Backstage, backstage, still the king even when it's— ...the catering already packed

up. There's no snacks

left. Not even the bad pretzels.

I specifically didn't eat before the show because I knew there'd be

snacks, that's a WHOLE STRATEGY I had

and now there's nothing,

there's just an empty table and a sad little pile of napkins

I'm not even that hungry,

it's

the PRINCIPLE, it's knowing there WAS a spread and I missed it

because I was busy being a legend out there (sob)

I texted the tour manager "any snacks left?" forty minutes ago

and he left me on read

which,

fine, great, cool, everyone's just leaving me on read this week apparently

I found a single stale breadstick

in my jacket pocket

from a different venue,

a different city,

possibly a different year,

and I ate it anyway

I'm not proud of that

but I ate it

Backstage, alone,

is a different kind of show,

one where nobody brings you a snack tray

nobody checks if you're okay,

nobody knows

that the real tragedy of this whole tour isn't the loneliness,

it's the catering logistics

truly,

deeply,

it's the pretzels,

it's always been the pretzels

Backstage, alone... (sniffle) somebody bring pretzels...

backstage, alone...