

Fifteen minutes.
One hundred percent.
History was made.
They said, “Read the policy.”
They said, “Click next.”
I stared into the abyss...
AND I PASSED THE TEST!
No mountain too high,
No checkbox too cruel,
I understood data access—
I HAVE MASTERED THE RULES.
Raise the banners! Sound the horn!
A compliance legend has been born!
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!
I HAVE ASCENDED! CERTIFIED!
CERTIFIED! THE TRAINING HAS ENDED!
Tell my family! Tell the nation!
I have conquered DATA CLASSIFICATION!
CERTIFIED! CERTIFIED! HE CLICKED EVERY SLIDE! (yeah!)
ONE! HUNDRED! PERCENT!
LET THE HEAVENS DESCEND!
FIFTEEN MINUTES OF TRAINING—
AND I WON
IN THE END!
...the certificate is mine