Jocelyn’s Last Call

(uh,

yeah, listen up) (she ain't leaving,

nah)

There’s a girl named Jocelyn with a backwards hat She plays rugby

hard and she’s proud of that

She walks in the bar and the girls all stare Jocelyn says,

“Which one of you brought me here?” She’s got Diquavious Syndrome in

her wrist But that won’t stop her from making a list

Girls with tattoos, girls with boots Girls who say “I have a

boyfriend” — absolutely not cute

She fell down the stairs,

broke her ankle in two But there’s a girl at the party

she’s gotta go talk to They say,

“Jocelyn, please, you need to go home!”

She grabs the nearest wall and says “I’M GAY

AND I’M NOT

DONE!”

JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

She’s holding onto walls

JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

She’s flirting with them all

Backwards hat, rugby queen

The gayest girl you’ve ever seen

Broken ankle, busted wrist

But she’s still looking for a kiss!

(let's go!) JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

The party’s almost dead She saw a pretty girl And suddenly she’s

straight out of bed!

Her ankle may be broken But her heart is fully healed— SHE

SAW A GIRL IN A RUGBY JERSEY AND NOW SHE’S GOTTA SHOOT

HER SHOT!

She’s got a broken ankle but she’s feeling fine She’s leaning on

the wall like, “Baby,

you’re mine” She spots a girl across the room with a backwards

cap Says, “I think I just fell in love—” “Jocelyn,

that’s the bartender.”

“…Exactly.”

She doesn’t need a dating app

She’s got rugby and a bar

Give her one attractive woman And she’ll follow her too far She’ll

stumble down the hallway

She’ll limp across the floor

But if that girl says,

“Come here,”

Jocelyn is asking for the door

She likes girls with long hair She likes girls with short She

likes girls who play rugby And girls who own a Ford She

likes girls who say “Your hat is kinda cute” And if they

say, “I’m straight” Jocelyn says,

“Respectfully… dispute.”

“JOCELYN, YOUR ANKLE IS BROKEN!” “I KNOW!” “YOUR WRIST IS BROKEN!” “I

KNOW!” “YOU’RE LEANING ON A WALL!” “I KNOW!” “THEN WHY ARE YOU

STILL PARTYING?!” She looks across the room… Sees a gorgeous girl… Adjusts

her backwards hat… “…Because she’s hot.”

JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

She’s holding onto walls JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

She’s flirting through it all Rugby girl,

backwards hat She’ll steal your girlfriend just like that Diquavious wrist and

a broken ankle But somehow she’s still dancing!

JOCELYN WON’T GO HOME!

She’s the lesbian of the year

If there’s a cute girl at the party JOCELYN WILL VOLUNTEER!

Broken bones, bruised pride Girls forever by her side— JOCELYN WON’T GO

HOME… SHE’S TOO BUSY FALLING FOR GIRLS!

(she's too busy, man) (Jocelyn,

put the ice pack on your ankle) (for real,

go home)

(nah... she's

still flirting... oh well)