And I Said Goodbye
Monday morning came quietly.
The horses had left the pasture.
There was not enough hay anymore,
so winter life had begun.
I carried hay from the silage bale,
cleaned the room where they could rest.
Carinhoso, Veera and Via,
another ordinary day.
In the afternoon
I brought them hay again.
Veera stood there for a moment,
not wanting to eat.
I felt something from her
I could not explain.
Then she began eating,
and the day moved on.
That afternoon another goodbye was already waiting at our door.
Myrsky and Tuisku went together to their home.
Routa left for his own.
The little Heroes had grown enough to continue their lives with the
people
they had been born to meet.
I made some food.
I baked an apple pie.
And when their people came
I could already see
the connection between them.
There was joy in letting go.
And I said goodbye.
Some leave through an open door.
Some leave through the Light.
Some begin another chapter.
Some finish one tonight.
And I said goodbye
with love still in my hands.
Life gave me joy and sorrow
on the very same day.
Evening came
and
I carried hay again.
Veera was lying on the ground at a time when she usually
would not.
Carinhoso told her to rise when he saw me coming.
She stood. But she did not eat.
And this time I knew something was wrong.
I went to my lady friend.
She came and examined Veera.
Colic.
One small word and suddenly the evening changed.
Veera was old. Her body had carried many years.
There had already been questions about when the time would come.
And now
the time had come.
A man came who knew what had to be done.
Quietly. Professionally. Before that moment I had already said goodbye in my
own way.
I connected Veera to the Light in which I live.
Then her body became still.
I covered her. And the rest of the evening belonged to sorrow.
No teaching needed. No explanation.
Only sorrow.
Tuesday morning came anyway.
The horses still needed hay.
Life had not stopped.
I went to Veera
for the last ceremony.
I removed her shoes from the body she had left behind.
For me
Veera was already home.
Her body was on the ground.
But Veera
was not there anymore.
While
I was there
the postman came.
Always pleasant. Always kind.
I told him:
Yesterday was a day of joy and a day of sorrow.
Three kittens found their homes.
And Veera
went home too. We spoke for a moment.
And I said: If you experience these emotions in your life,
then you know
you have lived a life.
He nodded, smiled and drove away- And I said goodbye.
To kittens leaving for their homes.
To Veera leaving for hers.
Joy sat beside sorrow and neither one disappeared.
And I said goodbye
because love sometimes asks us to.
Life continues. The horses still need hay.
The kittens still grow.
The morning still comes.
Lilja sits in my lap.
She is still here,
waiting for her home.
And sorrow is still here too.
Life continues.
I have nothing more to say.
And I said goodbye.