Pieces Left Behind

Dad, I know I left a hole

where I should’ve stood

I say I’m sorry

like a sorry ever could

I walked out with a backpack and a mouth full of pride

Left you holding all the pieces on the other side You gave

me every chance, I turned away from the door

Now I count the ways I made you carry more

I’m a terrible son,

and I hate that it’s true

Every mile between us feels like proof of what I do I

can write a hundred letters,

I can promise I’ll change

But your empty chair still knows my name

If regret could build a bridge,

I’d be home tonight

But I’m stuck with what I did and this apartment light

Dad, I love you,

even when I’m hard to love I’m ashamed of every time I

wasn’t there enough I left you with the weight,

I left my little brother too

If you hate me for it,

I know you’ve got the right to But I’ll keep loving you

from wherever I

am

Even when I don’t deserve to call myself your son

He’s four years old,

probably asks where I went Maybe he thinks I’m coming back,

maybe he learned what it meant

No mom at the table,

just the silence and the plates And I added one more absence

to the list of things he faces Little man,

if you hate me,

I won’t blame you for a second I know I’m just a

missing voice inside the home you’re growing up in

But if the years get heavy and you wonder if I care

I love you more than distance,

more than shame, more than the air

I don’t need forgiveness

just to know I caused the pain

I just want you both to hear me say your names

I’m not asking you to make the damage disappear I’m learning that

escaping doesn’t make a life less real If I ever get the

courage to come back and face the door

I’ll bring more than an apology—I’ll bring what I ignored

Dad, I love you,

and I’m trying to become Someone who can stay when the hardest

days come Brother, if you hate me,

I will still love you I’ll say it through the silence till

the words get through We were missing someone,

then I made another space

I can’t undo the leaving,

but I can change what comes today

Dad, I’m sorry

Little brother, I love you

I’m still learning how to come home