Bleeding

You used to call me every fucking night,

said you hated sleeping without my voice.

Drove miles just to lay next to me,

made me think I was your first choice.

Then suddenly you needed space,

needed silence, needed time.

And every time I asked what changed,

you made it sound like I crossed a line.

I tried to back off.

I tried to play cool.

I tried to need less

just to be enough for you.

So fuck your version of me,

the psycho ex who couldn't let you breathe.

I gave you space until there was nothing fucking left of me.

You called it boundaries,

I called it being alone.

How the fuck am I your boyfriend

if you treat me like a stranger on your phone?

So fuck your version of me.

Tell everybody I'm the bad guy.

It's easier than saying

you stopped trying.

My friends told me not to trust it,

said they'd heard this shit before.

Every ex you ever talked about

was some monster at your door.

But I defended you like an idiot,

said they didn't know your side.

Now I'm another name you use to make the next guy feel

like he's different from mine.

And two weeks later,

there's someone new.

Yeah, that's fucking funny,

right?

I spent months thinking I was too much

while you were already leaving in your mind.

So fuck your version of me,

the psycho ex who couldn't let you breathe.

I gave you space until there was nothing fucking left of me.

You called it boundaries,

I called it being alone.

How the fuck am I your boyfriend

if you treat me like a stranger on your phone?

So fuck your version of me.

Tell everybody I'm the bad guy.

It's easier than saying you stopped trying.

Maybe I held on too hard.

Maybe I should've fucking left.

Maybe I loved you past the point where I had anything left.

But wanting a call isn't control.

Missing you isn't abuse.

And needing something from the person you love doesn't make you fucking

toxic too.

You made me apologize for every time I needed you.

Fuck that.

So fuck your version of me,

fuck every story where you're clean.

You wanted all my love until my love required something from you

too. I gave you space.

You gave me scars.

I kept blaming myself while you were checking out.

And now I'm the villain because that's easier somehow.

So tell the next one I'm crazy.

Tell him I couldn't

let you leave. Just don't tell him you once begged for everything

you later hated in me.

My friends warned me.

I said, "She's not like that."

Yeah.

Fuck me, I guess.