Broken Barricades

yeah

mm i don’t even know fr i

just been—

too much on my mind i don’t sleep right

ride around late

just to kill time

i ain’t been me in a minute too much pain,

i just live in it said i’m good,

but i really isn’t whole room full,

still feel distant i been gettin high just to slow my thoughts

lost myself tryna love too hard every time i get close to

peace some shit come tear that shit apart like damn

what the fuck i do this time?

everybody get a piece of me

ain’t shit left that’s mine

heart too heavy, eyes too tired

i don’t even cry,

i just drive tell everybody “yeah,

i’m straight” whole time that’s another lie i

done watched shit change overnight

people i would’ve died for don’t even feel right i was tryna

build a home, they was keeping score now i don’t even know

what i’m fighting for i done gave too much,

that’s my problem everybody call when they got problems but when it’s

me going through that shit phone don’t ring,

ain’t nobody got me and i know i fucked up before

i ain’t tryna act innocent but damn,

how long i gotta bleed for some shit that i already regret?

i was young, fucked up,

moving wrong

now i’m older and the guilt still strong tryna fix shit that’s

already gone that’s why every fucking night feel long

i don’t wanna talk

just roll another one

windows cracked music loud ride until the sun come up ‘cause when

that car stop all them thoughts come back so i keep that

bitch moving like i’m running from my past

lost a couple jobs,

lost people too lost parts of me i can’t get back every

time i swear i’m finna get ahead life hit hard like “nah,

not yet” and my lil boy getting bigger

that’s the shit that really fuck with me

three years went by too damn fast i just wanna be who

he need me to be so even when i’m broke inside i

still gotta get up and grind can’t let mav see daddy fold

even when daddy losing his mind i wanted love i wanted family

wanted one crib where we all could sleep wanted somebody who knew

the worst in me and still looked at me like i’m worth

something but shit—

maybe i wanted too much

maybe i loved too hard maybe i kept tryna fix shit that

was already too far

now it’s 2 in the morning

dashboard lighting my face i ain’t even got nowhere to go i

just don’t wanna go home today

don’t ask what’s wrong i’m tired of explaining same old wounds just

different days

i don’t hate nobody

i just changed

too much happened i

ain’t been the same

i ain’t been me in a minute

if you knew what was in me,

you’d get it

every loss put a hole in my spirit but i keep that

shit tucked, you won’t hear it i been gettin high just to

slow my thoughts asking god what all this pain cost ‘cause i

done paid and paid and paid how the fuck i still ain’t

paid it off?

damn… i just wanted something that stayed one person that ain’t walk

away

one time for this shit to go right one night where i’m

actually okay but fuck it sun gon’ rise anyway

so i wipe my face

start the car and do this shit another day.