Thomas and His Twenty-Nine Twists
The doctors shook their heads
when Thomas came along
They pulled out a checklist that was twenty pages long
Most folks get a diagnosis,
maybe one or two
But Thomas broke the record with a massive list of anew He’s
got twenty-nine distinct
disabilities in his file A walking medical encyclopedia,
but he wears it with a smile.
Oh, Thomas has got twenty-nine things going wrong!
A walking, talking symphony of a highly chaotic song From his left
toe to his right ear,
the circuits are unique He’s a medical anomaly,
completely tongue-in-cheek Yeah, twenty-nine conditions making history today
He’s special in the strangest,
most complicated way!
Condition number one means he can only walk in zig-zag lines Number
five makes him allergic to the design of stop signs Number ten
ensures he sneezes when he hears a country song And thirteen makes
his left arm feel exactly four feet long By the time you
hit twenty, he can only speak in rhyme And twenty-nine means he
thinks it's always breakfast time!
Oh, Thomas has got twenty-nine things going wrong!
A walking, talking symphony of a highly chaotic song From his left
toe to his right ear,
the circuits are unique He’s a medical anomaly,
completely tongue-in-cheek Yeah, twenty-nine conditions making history today
He’s special in the strangest,
most complicated way!
The scientists are baffled,
they are writing up reports They’ve studied his reflexes and his funny
little snorts (snort) It takes a lot of effort just to get
him out of bed
With twenty-nine separate wires crossed inside his head!
Count 'em up, count 'em up,
all the way to the end That's twenty-nine reasons he's a handful,
my friend
Yeah, Thomas...
the boy who kept the doctors guessing...