The Man Who Stole Tuesday

Narrator: They say Tuesday disappeared sometime around midnight.

Singer: And I’m the only man who knows where it went.

I got a phone call from a man in gray,

He said, “Buddy, we’ve got a little problem today.” I said,

“What’s the trouble?” He said,

“Don’t ask why— Someone stole Tuesday right out of the sky.”

I grabbed my coat and I grabbed my hat,

I grabbed a sandwich— (Why’d you grab that?) Because espionage makes a

fellow hungry.

Somebody stole Tuesday! Who would do such a thing?

Now Wednesday’s getting nervous And Friday’s missing its wings!

Somebody stole Tuesday! The calendar’s gone insane!

Monday won’t stop talking And Thursday’s taking the blame!

I chased a suspect down a dark street,

He wore white shoes and had suspiciously good feet.

He turned around and whispered,

“Listen, pal, You shouldn’t be asking questions about the calendar.” I said,

“Where’s Tuesday?” He said,

“Never heard of it.” I said,

“It’s a day!” He said,

“Prove it.”

Now that’s when I knew— (Knew what?) This guy was an idiot.

Somebody stole Tuesday! Somebody took the date!

Now Saturday’s pretending It doesn’t know its fate!

Somebody stole Tuesday! The whole world’s out of sync!

I asked Sunday

what happened— (I don’t know.

I don’t think.)

Check the calendar, check the clock,

Check the mailbox, check the lock.

Monday’s mad, Wednesday’s late,

Thursday’s standing by the gate.

Friday says, “Don’t look at me,” Saturday’s watching TV.

Sunday’s eating birthday cake— Wait a minute— WHO

INVITED SUNDAY?

I found Tuesday! (WHERE?!) Behind the refrigerator!

(WHY?!) It was hiding from Wednesday!

We

found

Tuesday!

Everybody stay calm! Put it back between Monday And Wednesday where it

belongs! We found Tuesday!

The calendar is saved!

Now somebody tell Saturday To stop acting so afraid!

What happened to Thursday?

(He’s fine!) What happened to Friday?

(He’s drinking wine!) What happened to Monday?

(He’s still complaining!) And what about Sunday?

(HE’S STILL EATING CAKE!)

Singer: So where’s Wednesday?

Wednesday Voice: I’m behind you.

Singer: …Oh, no.

Band: RUN! Singer: I

KNEW WE SHOULDN’T HAVE FOUND TUESDAY!