Loading Legacy

Feebris.

Check the obs. (CHECK THE OBS!)

Doccla?

Still loading.

(STILL LOADING!)

Your whole stack smell like twenty-ten, (LEGACY!)

Raised more cash, still ugly again.

(MORE FUNDING!)

Big fat whale with a VC fin,

Keep falling forward, call that a win.

Fresh in the ward,

fresh in the code,

You need five teams just to lighten the load.

We ship clean, you wobble down road,

Another funding round just to keep that boat afloat.

(TOO HEAVY!)

(MORE FUNDING!)

I seen your portal,

nearly called IT, Looks like SharePoint caught an STI.

Grey box, blue button,

dead inside, UX so old it should qualify for a pension by

now. You got decks on decks,

PR on tap, Whole lotta noise for a clapped-out app.

We got clinical signal running through the stack,

You got another consultant explaining why the button moved back.

(STILL LOADING!) Big

company energy, slow as sin,

Forty people copied just to log you in.

We lean, we ship,

we test, we win,

You need a steering group to decide where a modal begins.

Funding round lands, champagne pops,

Next morning product still looks like Gov.uk knock-offs.

Millions in, somehow beige survives,

That UI got more lives than a cat with nine Series Bs.

Who looks fresh?

FEEBRIS!

Who looks cooked?

DOCCLA!

Who needs cash? MORE FUNDING!

Who still spins? STILL LOADING! (sneaky…) (sneaky…)

Sneaky little moves, smile for the room,

Quiet round the back,

then loud on Zoom.

Corporate ninja in a navy-blue suit,

Slide deck polished, product still mute.

Don’t talk scale like scale means good,

Tesco got aisles, don’t mean haute food.

You grew wide, we grew sharp,

You built a tanker,

we built something that starts.

Big whale

lumbering, bloated with raise,

Every round buys another couple years of praise.

Keep falling forward, call gravity “pace”,

Soon need venture capital just to refresh the page.

(MORE FUNDING!) We’re edge-side,

fast-side, clinical-first,

You’re old-school software in a startup shirt.

We’re modern care, you’re procurement hurt,

Your roadmap got archaeology work.

More cash. (MORE FUNDING!)

More staff. (TOO HEAVY!) More decks.

(MORE FUNDING!) Same app.

(LEGACY!) More noise. (SNEAKY!) More spin.

(STILL LOADING!) Feebris walks in.

(CHECK THE OBS!)

Your whole stack smell like twenty-ten, (LEGACY!)

Raised more cash, still ugly again.

(MORE FUNDING!) Big fat whale with a VC fin,

Keep falling forward, call that a win.

Fresh in the ward,

fresh in the code,

You

need

five teams just to lighten the load.

We ship clean, you wobble down road,

Another funding round just to keep that boat afloat.

(TOO HEAVY!) (MORE FUNDING!)

(STILL LOADING!) (CHECK THE OBS!) Feebris.