Bab Alroight Drop
New map.
Birmingham.
Long breath.
“Alroight, bab.”
Junkrat: “Why are you talking like that?”
Going local.
“You're Australian.” ... Yam alright,
bab?
Doors still shut. Haven't moved yet.
Someone types:
“TANK SWAP.” Mate. I've not even
left the room.
Give us a minute.
Doors open.
Welcome to Brum.
Walk down New Street,
chain goes out. Miss.
“HOG IS USELESS!”
Next one lands. “HOG IS BROKEN!”
... Right.
So what's the acceptable
amount of hook?
ALROIGHT BAB!
HOG'S IN BRUM!
HOOK ONE LAD, NOW HE'S RUINED EVERYONE'S FUN!
MISS ONE HOOK!
REPORT THE TANK!
LAND THE NEXT ONE!
HOG NEEDS A NERF!
... Yam confusing me now,
bab.
Local bloke says: “Mate,
nobody here
talks like that.”
Long breath. “Yam do.” “No we don't.” “Yam am.”
“What?”
... Our kid.
He left.
Must've been from Wolverhampton.
Need healing.
Take a Breather.
Enemy:
“NO-SKILL SELF HEAL!”
Don't heal.
Team:
“HOG,
HEAL YOURSELF!” ... Could somebody write he rules down?
SYSTEM:
BALANCE UPDATE.
Oh, here we go.
Hook changed. Damage changed.
Healing changed. Cooldown changed.
Hog changed.
Again. Junkrat:
“They've reworked you so many times
do you even know what you do anymore?”
... Hook people.
“Anything else?”
No.
WHO NEEDS NERFED? HOG!
WHO NEEDS
BUFFED? HOG! WHO NEEDS REWORKED?
HOG!
WHO SHOULD NEVER HAVE PICKED
HOG?
... Apparently Hog.
ALROIGHT BAB!
WELCOME TO BRUM!
NERF ME MONDAY!
BUFF ME WHEN IT'S DONE!
BAN ME TUESDAY!
BRING ME BACK AT TEN!
CHANGE THE WHOLE BLOODY CHARACTER— THEN NERF ME AGAIN!
Mercy:
“And please stop doing the accent.”
Long breath. ... “Yam don't like it?”
“No.” “That's bostin', bab.” “Please stop.”
HOG IN BRUM! CHAIN GOES CLANK!
EVERYBODY HATES ME—
INCLUDING MY OWN RANK!
NERFED OR BUFFED!
I'LL STILL BE HERE!
SIX HUNDRED POUNDS
OF BRUMMIE ATMOSPHERE! DEFEAT.
Junkrat: “Well, Birmingham was nice.”
... “Bostin'.”
“Oh, shut up.”