Amen Croakdown

(rewind selector.

amen break drops.) Yeah.

Cornwall in the house.

Let's have it. People

ask me where I'm from,

I tell 'em Cornwall,

my lover

They go "no lad...

why you green?" None of your business,

ribbit, covered

Born by the bog,

raised by the marsh,

lily pad COBOL book hard PERFORM UNTIL dissertation — Distinction,

that's how I start Bog Valley Tech College,

class of twenty-three Aphex Twin on my t-shirt,

three flies brekkie, espresso soul — that's me Not Scouse,

not London, not a tech bro in a hood Cornish frog who

knows legacy code is good if you treat it right Froggy's post-it

on my desk — "LESS TALKING" — I don't need a light

RIBBIT LA! CORNWALL AMPHIBIA!

RIBBIT LA! BOG VALLEY SOLDIER!

RIBBIT LA! SERVER ROOM COLD!

FROG WITH AN ESPRESSO,

DOIN' WHAT I'M TOLD

BUT I'M BUILDIN' MY OWN POND NOW FOSS IN MY BLOOD,

OPEN SOURCE MY VOW

RIBBIT LA! WAZZOCK REGISTER CROWD LITTLE GREEN FROG TALKIN' LOUD!

Morsorana in Padua, Italian queen,

colder eyes you've never seen Met on a coffee forum,

argued OPV pressure mid-screen "Your angles wrong but your spirit correct" —

treasure, treasure She's learning COBOL for me,

cried over PERFORM UNTIL — that's the measure Facciamo un caffè when

the argument gets thick She thinks rich tea's too dry — she's

wrong, but I let it slip Two frogs,

two countries, the pond holds every night My desk near the server

room — eighteen degrees,

never less "HELLO WORLD" mug from my mother,

spiral notebook, no flex Just a frog,

a pencil, a COBOL 85 text And an espresso machine I dialled

in at seven weeks

— progress

Froggy called me "frog," "lad," "the COBOL one"

Seven weeks, no name — still showed up,

still got it done

Built a Wellness Register on the man who couldn't stay

Documented his decline while I built my own damn way

Call me intern, call me junior — the server room's still eighteen

degrees And I'm still compilin',

writin', buildin', FOSS on the breeze

RIBBIT LA! CORNWALL AMPHIBIA!

RIBBIT LA! BOG VALLEY SOLDIER!

RIBBIT LA! SERVER ROOM COLD!

FROG WITH AN ESPRESSO,

DOIN' WHAT I_M TOLD

BUT I'M BUILDIN' MY OWN POND NOW FOSS IN MY BLOOD,

OPEN SOURCE MY VOW

RIBBIT LA! WAZZOCK REGISTER CROWD LITTLE GREEN FROG TALKIN' LOUD!

Anyway. Missed me bus now.

Sound. ...ribbit.

You got the Scouse anthem.

This is the Bog Valley one.

Two ponds. Both full.

Sit with that. (amen one bar.

silence. frog croak. espresso hiss.) 🐸☕