Rot

Something moved beneath the silence

Something I don’t recognize

I can feel it underneath me

Moving when I close my eyes

I keep the windows open

But the air still tastes the same

There’s a sweetness in the silence Right before it starts to change

I found the first sign in the mirror

A stranger wearing my face Something underneath my skin Was slowly taking

up the space

I tried to starve it with distraction Tried to drown it in

the noise But the thing I kept avoiding Learned the sound of

my own voice I thought time would kill the feeling I thought

distance would make it fade

But some things don’t disappear They learn how to feed on what

remains

There’s something in me

(And I can’t cut it out) It’s living in the places I

don’t let anybody see There’s something in me (And it’s eating through

the light) I keep calling it a memory But it feels alive

tonight I started losing little pieces

Before I noticed they were gone

My patience

My reflection The person I was counting on

Now every thought arrives already sharpened Every kindness feels suspect

I don’t know if I’m protecting myself Or becoming something else I

wash my hands until they ache

But I still feel it underneath Like something left a stain inside

me That no water ever reaches

I thought I could outrun the damage I thought I could starve

the flame But everything I tried to bury Found another way to

stay

There’s something in me

(And I can’t cut it out) It’s living in the places I

don’t let anybody see There’s something in me (And it’s eating through

the light) I keep calling it a memory But it feels alive

tonight

ROT!

(I'M ROTTING!) ROT! (I'M ROTTING!)

ROT! (I'M ROTTING!) (It’s already inside me) Maybe the worst part isn’t

the damage

Maybe it’s how familiar it feels

Maybe I’ve carried it so long

I don’t know who I’d be without it

I look inside myself

And find something looking back

Not a monster Not a ghost Just every piece of me

I never put back

There’s something in me

(And I can’t cut it out) It’s living in the places I

don’t let anybody see There’s something in me (And it’s eating through

the light) I keep calling it a memory But it feels alive

tonight There’s something in me And now I know what it wants

It doesn’t need to chase me It already knows where I am

There’s something in me And I can feel it underneath

Every breath I take Every heartbeat Every part of me

I FED IT EVERY SILENCE

I GAVE IT EVERY SECRET I LET

IT GROW AND NOW I CAN’T TELL WHERE IT ENDS AND I

BEGIN GET IT OUT GET IT OUT BUT IT’S ALREADY IN MY

VEINS ROT! (I'M ROTTING!)

Something moved beneath the silence And I think

It knows my name