Still Loving You
I knew you before I knew what love was,
Back when forever sounded like a word.
Somewhere between the jokes and the late nights,
You became the safest place I'd ever heard.
And I tried to call it something smaller,
Tried to fit you inside "my best friend."
But every time I swear I'm letting go,
My heart finds another reason to pretend.
'Cause I'm a woman loving a man
Who never needed me the way I need him.
And I don't blame you for that— I just hate that I
can't turn this off.
I'll never be what you're looking for,
No matter how much I love you.
I'll never fit the shape of your heart
The way somebody else could do.
And I know I should walk away,
Find somebody who can love me too,
But every road I try to take Somehow leads me back to
you.
You're the only man I've ever loved
Without having to learn how.
And maybe that's my tragedy— You're the one I can't have now.
You hold me when I'm falling apart,
You know when something's wrong before I speak.
You make me laugh when I don't want to,
And somehow make the hardest days feel weak.
Sometimes I catch a look across the room
And convince myself there's something there.
Then reality comes rushing in
And reminds me I'm imagining the air.
Maybe someday I'll meet somebody Who makes my heart forget your name.
Maybe someday I'll hear your story And it won't feel like mine
to save.
Maybe I'll look back at these years And finally understand
That loving someone completely Doesn't always mean they become your man.
I'll never be what you're looking for,
And I'm finally learning that's okay.
It doesn't make my love less real Just because it can't make
you stay. You're still the first man who made me feel Like
maybe I could give my whole heart away.
And even if somebody comes along Who loves me in a different
way,
A part of me will always remember
The boy I met so long ago.
But for now,
if loving you means loving you from a distance,
I'll learn.
I just wish
learning to let go
didn't feel so much like
losing the only man
I've ever truly loved.