Rap Battle

(Yo... are you... is this a real speech?) (hahaha)

(Hold on, wait, start over...)

You stood there sweating,

rehearsing your little threat Got your chest puffed out,

but your forehead is soaking wet Did you write this down?

Did your big brother help you draft it?

It's hard to look scary when your voice is cracking

(haha...

ooooh) 'Oh, I'm gonna get you!' Man,

I'm genuinely embarrassed for you

That delivery was flat,

the pacing was terrible Your whole tough-guy persona is borderline unbearable

Sit down, shut up,

you are doing too much!

(way too much!) Your crew is embarrassed,

your posture is cooked!

Sit down, shut up,

you are doing too much!

(be quiet!)

Your boots are squeaking,

your hands are shaking,

it's tragic You look like a mime trying to do street magic

I could disassemble your whole heritage with a single sentence Leave you

crying in the corner begging for some repentance (damn!) But I'd rather

just laugh at your cheap synthetic jacket Why're you wearing winter coats

when the heat is rampant?

(why?) You're a caricature,

a miniature, a signature failure Go home and hire a better scriptwriter

to tail you!

Let's be completely honest for a second.

Look at me.

Do I look frightened to you?

(not even a little bit)

Your boots are plastic,

your posture is terrible,

and you're out of breath.

And you've been talking for four minutes.

(haha...

tragic)

Now I'm-hitting-the-rhythm-and-splitting-the-atom-and-ripping-the-track-apart! You're-a-novice-a-bother-a-shadow-who-doesn't-know-where-to-start! I'm-the-definition-of-cynical-spitting-a-pinnacle-bar!

...Yeah, actually, I'm over it.

Go home, kid.

You're boring me now.