Bad Idea. Great Story!

Okay...

Before anybody gets mad— I have a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I just don't know what it is yet.

Woke up dressed like I'm headed to court One shoe on,

other one's out on the porch

Phone at two percent,

twelve missed calls Somebody drew a little door on my wall

Kitchen chair sitting out in the hall Receipt in my pocket says

"BUY THEM ALL"

Buy what? Don't know.

Great start. Why's there a traffic cone next to my Pop-Tarts?

Checked my texts— Oh,

no.

Scrolled twice— OH, NO.

Apparently at 2:43

I told everybody,

"Leave this to me." That's never good.

BAD IDEA! GREAT STORY!

Wake up confused Every damn morning Don't remember why Everybody's calling If

I screwed it all up— AT LEAST IT WASN'T BORING Bad idea!

Great story! Consequences knocking I'll get back to 'em shortly I could

learn my lesson

Probably should— But where's the fun

IN BEING GOOD?

Found my jacket hanging off a street sign Wallet still here,

so I'm doing just fine Wait—

Whose wallet is this?

...Never mind.

Got a voicemail, pressed play— My own voice said,

"Whatever you do, don't open the—" Don't open the WHAT?!

WHY WOULD I END IT THERE?!

Bathroom mirror says "YOU OWE ME TEN" Different handwriting underneath says "TWENTY"

Somebody left three pizzas downstairs I live alone— Why are there twenty-four

chairs? I'm starting to think There might've been guests.

Either that Or I made some investments.

BAD IDEA! GREAT STORY!

Wake up confused Every damn morning Don't remember why Everybody's calling If

I screwed it all up— AT LEAST IT WASN'T BORING

Okay. Let's establish

facts. I left at nine.

Came

home at— Actually... Do we need facts?

Facts are depressing.

Look— I can explain the cone and the chairs The pizzas are

harder, but nobody cares The writing?

Not mine. The wallet?

Returned. Whatever I bought?

Lesson learned— ... Unless it's cool.

Every bad decision gets funnier with time Every red flag looks green

after nine Everybody says I should straighten my life I TRIED THAT

ONCE— Didn't fit me right!

Call me irresponsible, questionable,

impossible Chronically allergic to anything logical Maybe tomorrow I'll finally mature— ...

Don't hold your breath.

BAD IDEA! GREAT STORY!

Whole life's looking

Like a warning Consequences knocking

Getting louder every morning Someday I'll learn—

BUT IT WON'T BE THIS MORNING!

BAD IDEA! GREAT STORY!

Wait.

Seriously.

Why are there twenty-four chairs?

... Oh.

OH.