Price Ascending
Used to think a thousand was a number.
Then I saw a thousand.
(Okay.) Ten thousand sounded ridiculous.
Then ten thousand showed up and somehow looked smaller in person.
(That's concerning.)
I keep raising the price of what impresses me.
Every time I finally touch the thing my brain marks it down
immediately. Wanted proof. Got proof.
Now apparently proof needs proof.
What kind of business is this?
I remember being excited when anybody paid attention.
Now I'm doing arithmetic while something good is happening.
(That's fucked up.) Good news walks through the front door,
I shake its hand,
look over its shoulder and ask:
Who'd you bring?
I keep raising the price.
Every win gets cheaper overnight.
Yesterday would've lost its fucking mind over shit I barely notice tonight.
I keep raising the price.
No salesman did this to me.
The thing I wanted finally arrived— and I changed the currency.
Maybe that's why satisfaction has such terrible customer retention.
First one's magic.
Second one's evidence.
Third one's expected.
Fourth one's late. (Look at that.) I turned excitement
into accounting.
Hundred becomes thousand.
Thousand becomes ten.
Ten becomes a hundred and we're negotiating again.
Not because somebody told me to.
Nobody even knows the rules.
(Including me.) (Especially me.) So here's the experiment: Next good
thing that happens, I'm gonna actually
fucking notice it.
No immediately multiplying it.
No comparing it. No asking what it means for next month.
Just— Hey. That's
pretty fucking cool.
There.
I did it.
For approximately eight seconds.
(hahaha) New personal record.
I keep raising the price of what impresses me.
Maybe nothing got smaller— maybe my eyes got greedy.
Every impossible thing gets strangely ordinary eventually.
I keep raising the price— but tonight I'm keeping the receipt.
Because tomorrow I'll want double.
Next week I'll invent triple.
Next year I'll swear this was never enough.
But right fucking now?
It happened.
I wanted it. I got it.
And before my brain changes the price again— I'm gonna enjoy the
expensive little bastard.
Tomorrow we renegotiate.