

It's getting kinda late.
Dishes in the sink.
Laundry on the chair.
Three emails I should answer.
Gas light's on.
Alarm isn't set.
Hmm.
Sounds like somebody's got
a busy fucking morning.
Luckily—
that's not me.
That's Tomorrow-Me.
Great guy.
Very dependable.
Never met him.
THAT'S A TOMORROW PROBLEM!
TONIGHT I'M OFF THE CLOCK!
Tomorrow me can figure it out around eight-fucking-o'clock!
THAT'S A TOMORROW PROBLEM!
I'M SURE HE'LL FIND A WAY!
Tomorrow me is gonna fucking hate me— But that's tomorrow.
Not today.
Need groceries? Tomorrow. Need gas?
Tomorrow.
Need to call somebody back and explain why I didn't call them
back?
Definitely tomorrow.
I even leave him little surprises.
Empty coffee. Dead phone.
No clean socks.
Seven percent gas. That's called—
delegation.
(shh) We need to talk.
Who the fuck said that?
Tomorrow.
Oh.
Hey, buddy.
Listen,
before you get upset— THE DISHES?!
I'll do 'em tomorrow.
WE ARE TOMORROW! Oh.
Right.
THAT'S A TOMORROW PROBLEM!
STOP SAYING THAT! Tomorrow me can handle— WE'RE FUCKING TIRED!
I've got complete confidence in you!
YOU ARE US! Technically,
yes.
But organizationally—
No.
You stayed up till two!
Research. WATCHING VIDEOS!
Research videos. YOU ORDERED FOOD!
Needed energy.
THEN DO THE FUCKING DISHES!
Let's keep this professional.
Okay.
New policy.
Tonight-Me handles tonight.
Tomorrow-Me handles tomorrow.
And yesterday?
We don't discuss
Yesterday-Me.
THAT'S A TOMORROW PROBLEM!
NO THE FUCK IT ISN'T!
I'M DELEGATING! YOU'RE PROCRASTINATING!
Tomorrow me is gonna fucking hate me!
WE ALREADY FUCKING DO!
But somehow every morning we get up and make it through!
(beep beep beep beep) "Fuck." "Good morning."