Can't Add

Yeah…

Thought I’d be everything at once…

Now I’m just countin’ what I got left.

Used to chase the whole horizon,

not a single lane,

Every book a new religion,

every loss a gain,

Tried to learn the stars,

the code, the human brain,

Now I’m standin’ in the middle like I split the plane.

Had a dozen different dreams in a single night,

Thought I’d master every craft,

thought I had the right,

Now the mirror talkin’ back in a different light,

Sayin’ “you can’t be it all,

better pick a fight.”

Time don’t pause for ambition,

Clocks don’t care ‘bout your vision,

Every path got a cost in admission,

Now I’m weighin’ every loss and decision.

I used to want be a polymath,

But it’s gettin’ late in life,

and I cannot add,

All the years I spent tryin’ to learn it all,

Now I’m countin’ what I missed and it hits me bad.

I used to want be a polymath,

But it’s gettin’ late in life,

and I cannot add,

All the pieces never formed into one clear path,

Now I’m stuck doin’ math that I never had.

Had my hands in everything,

never held it tight,

Built a thousand little sparks,

never kept a light,

Every skill half-grown, never took full flight,

Now the weight of all that “almost” hit me every night.

People say focus, yeah I hear that now,

Funny how the lesson come when you near that doubt,

Every “maybe I could be” turned a “where,

what, how?” Now I’m lookin’ at the sum and it don’t check

out.

Dreams don’t scale like I planned ‘em,

Can’t just stack ‘em and demand ‘em,

Every talent got a cost to command ‘em,

Now I’m payin’ with the time I abandoned.

Maybe it ain’t subtraction,

maybe it’s design, Maybe all these scattered lines just ain’t aligned,

Maybe bein’ everything was never mine,

Maybe depth beat width if you give it time.

So I cut through the noise,

pick a single thread,

Let the rest fall off,

let the past be said,

All the weight I carried just to feel ahead,

Now I’m buildin’ something real from the doubt instead.

Yeah I lost some time,

yeah I paid that cost,

But a focused step forward beat a million lost,

Every path I walked ain’t a total loss,

It’s a map of where I been,

not a line I crossed.

I used to want be a polymath,

But it’s gettin’ late in life,

and I cannot add,

But I’m learnin’ how to count what I still have left,

Turn the weight of the past to a different math.

I used to want be a polymath,

But it’s gettin’ late in life,

and I cannot add,

So I’m buildin’ one thing that can truly last,

Even if I took the long way back.

Yeah… Not everything adds up…

But maybe it still means something.