Phone Knows Everything REMIX

Okay. This shit's getting weird.

I mentioned ONE thing yesterday—

...Don't. Talked about shoes at lunch,

now my whole screen's feet.

Mentioned one vacation—now apparently I'm going Greece.

Looked at one fucking chair,

now every chair company knows me.

Didn't buy it, didn't search it— WHY'S THE CHAIR FOLLOWING ME?

I know algorithms exist,

I understand what they do,

But sometimes this rectangle knows the thought before I do.

Opened up my phone this morning,

first thing waiting there—

HOW THE FUCK YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT A CHAIR?

MY PHONE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

THIS LITTLE BASTARD'S GETTING SMART!

I ain't even typed it yet,

it's halfway through my fucking thought!

I talk—there it is!

I think—there's another! At this point I'm scared to wonder what I'm

having for my supper!

MY PHONE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

But I ain't throwing it away— Apparently this creepy little bastard KNOWS

WHAT I WANT TODAY!

Okay phone, let's play.

I'm thinking— DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT.

Purple llama, roller skates,

spaceship with a microwave,

Kazoo-playing billionaire selling waffles from a cave.

There. Predict that shit.

...Why is there an ad for waffles?

NO! Swipe left, swipe right,

recommend another thing, Song I never asked to hear—damn,

actually this shit can sing.

Maps know where I'm going,

calendar knows when, Photos know exactly where the fuck I've already been.

Weather knows it's raining,

bank knows I'm broke,

Phone knows everything about me— AND STILL CAN'T AUTOCORRECT A FUCKING JOKE!

Fine. Let's test it.

I'm gonna say—

...violin. Motherfucker.

Next one's—

...harmonica. Don't you dare.

...xylophone.

Oh, FUCK YOU.

Piano!

Bass! Drums! WAIT! ...Thank you.

MY PHONE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

AND NOW THE FUCKING BEAT DOES TOO!

Every time I think I'm leading,

something gets there before I do!

I talk—it knows! I stop—it waits!

I change my mind— IT ANTICIPATES!

MY PHONE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

Maybe that's just life today— We built machines that know what we

want—

...before we know what to say.

Don't. Seriously.

...What is it?

Okay. That's actually pretty fucking cool.