One More Ruin

That's it. I'm done.

Seriously. I'm not doing this shit anymore.

…Although.

I could try one more thing.

One more adjustment, one more little change,

One more stupid theory that's probably fucking insane.

One more late night,

one more 'maybe this'll work,' One more hour turning into three

because I couldn't leave it first.

I've quit this thing a hundred times,

usually around two. Then five minutes later,

I'm thinking what else I could do.

So this is absolutely,

positively my goodbye— Right after one more fucking try.

ONE MORE FUCKING TRY!

THEN I'M DONE, I SWEAR!

One more swing at the wall just to see if something's there.

I ain't calling this persistence,

I ain't calling it a sign— I'M JUST TOO FUCKING STUBBORN NOT

TO TRY IT ONE MORE TIME!

One more fucking try!

Then I'm walking away— …Unless I think of something better on the

fucking way.

Deleted it, rebuilt it,

hated it, revised it,

Called the whole thing pointless,

then immediately redesigned it.

Said 'Fuck this,' closed the laptop,

stood up, grabbed my coat— Sat back down because one tiny fucking

thought got in my throat.

Maybe move this, maybe cut that,

maybe hit it from the side.

Maybe everything was right except the one thing I ain't tried.

I'm not chasing inspiration,

I'm not trusting fate tonight— I'm just irritated enough

to give it one more try.

Alright.

That's it.

No.

Don't.

Motherfucker.

One more!

That's all!

One more!

Then stop! One more!

…We both know I'm lying.

Fine. I'm done.

OH COME ON.

ONE MORE FUCKING TRY!

THEN I'M DONE, I SWEAR!

I've been saying that for years and somehow I'm still here!

Every failure gets one funeral,

then I bring it back alive— JUST TO KILL THE FUCKING QUESTION:

WHAT IF I TRIED ONE MORE TIME?

ONE MORE FUCKING TRY!

Let the whole thing fucking fly!

If it works, fantastic!

If it doesn't—

…Alright.

ONE MORE FUCKING TRY!

Done.

…What if—