Hollow Bloom

I left you seven times

And never made it through the night

Every door I closed behind me

Only taught me how to lie

I know the pattern

I know the signs The silence first

Then your name inside my mind

I count the hours

I don’t call Just to prove

I don’t need you at all

But my hands remember

What my head denies

And every time you disappear

Something in me comes alive So tell me why

The further I get The less I recognize myself Tell me why

I only feel like me

When I’m becoming someone else

I’m in withdrawal

From the way you pull me under I know what you are

I know what this becomes I’m in withdrawal And I could make

it out If I wanted to That’s the worst part— I don’t

want to.

Three days clean I almost slept

Deleted every word I wish I’d never read Then you came back

Like nothing happened One little “hey” And there went all my progress

Isn’t it funny? I know every trick I can watch you turn

the knife

And still lean into it Don’t tell me

this is love I stopped believing that Don’t tell me

I should run

I know.

I know.

I KNOW.

I’m in withdrawal

From the way you pull me under I know what you are

I know what this becomes I’m in withdrawal And every part of

me

That’s begging to be free Still turns around When

you call for me

Maybe it was never you

Maybe I don’t miss your hands

Your voice Your skin

Maybe I miss Who I become When you want me

And if that’s true…

What the fuck am I without you?

I KNOW THE DOSE

I KNOW THE DAMAGE

I KNOW YOUR LOVE

IS JUST A HABIT

SO TAKE IT AWAY WATCH ME COME UNDONE I’D RATHER WITHDRAW THAN

CALL THIS LOVE

BUT IF YOU CAME BACK— I’D STILL FUCKING RUN TO YOU.

EVERY. FUCKING.

TIME.

I left you seven times… Maybe eight

Will get me through the night.