Surrogate Love
Your silver chain scrapes heavy on my collarbone.
We share this mattress,
yet I'm lying here alone.
You grip my hips,
leave a bruise above the seam.
Your pupils dilating for some other fucking dream.
Staring at the plaster cracks right behind my head,
Rehearsing someone's name while you push me to the bed.
Your fingernails dig in,
though the muscle memory is off.
You're choking up my throat,
keeping the grip way too soft.
I'm tracking every flinch,
every shiver of your spine.
You're finishing the act,
but the rhythm isn't mine.
Where does your mind escape right before the peak?
Who is the stranger that makes your knees go weak?
I'm scratching up your back,
watching you barely even flinch...
It hurts so fucking much 'cause I memorize your flaws!
You're pinning down my wrists without any fucking cause!
We're tangling our legs,
while your focus is completely gone.
You're using my own bed just to put her memory on!
You cross every boundary,
you miss every single cue.
I'm begging for a spark,
getting static back from you!
I loathe the way I need this,
the way I beg to stay.
And I pull you by the hair as I watch myself decay!
You bite my lower lip with your jaw locked up tight.
You squeezed your eyelids shut to project her in your sight.
I taste the nicotine and the whiskey on your tongue.
I'm trading all my oxygen to fill your empty lungs.
Why is your iPhone face-down on the table by the door?
I'm giving you my flesh,
what the fuck you looking for?
The friction is intense,
yet the chemistry is fake.
I'm shattering my ribs just to see how much you'll take.
Where does your mind escape right before the peak?
Who is the stranger that makes your knees go weak?
I'm scratching up your back,
watching you barely even flinch...
It hurts so fucking much 'cause I memorize your flaws!
You're pinning down my wrists without any fucking cause!
We're tangling our legs,
while your focus is completely gone.
You're using my own bed just to put her memory on!
You cross every boundary,
you miss every single cue.
I'm begging for a spark,
getting static back from you!
I loathe the way I need this,
the way I beg to stay.
And I pull you by the hair as I watch myself decay!
The friction... (with no spark) You're thrusting...
(in the dark) You're grabbing my waist...
(now I'm losing my mark) Crack my chest open,
admit I'm not her!
It hurts so fucking much 'cause I memorize your flaws!
You're pinning down my wrists without any fucking cause!
We're tangling our legs,
while your focus is completely gone.
You're using my own bed just to put her memory on!
You cross every boundary,
you miss every single cue.
I'm begging for a spark,
getting static back from you!
I loathe the way I need this,
the way I beg to stay.
And I pull you by the hair as I watch myself decay!