Yesterday’s Reckoning

I miss the guy who didn't know what was coming,

Thought every closed door meant another one opening.

Had less in his pocket,

somehow worried less,

Didn't know enough yet to know he wasn't blessed.

I wouldn't trade places…

But sometimes I miss him. (ahhhh)

I DON'T WANNA GO BACK— BUT I MISS WHO I WAS YESTERDAY!

Before every lesson left something changed,

Before I got good at recognizing pain.

I love who I am,

wouldn't throw him away— But damn… I MISS WHO I WAS YESTERDAY!

He trusted a handshake,

believed what was said,

Didn't replay conversations lying in bed.

Didn't read every smile for the motive beneath,

Didn't know disappointment could sharpen your teeth.

He was broke but laughed like the rent had been paid,

Made stupid-ass plans without being afraid.

Thought twenty bucks somehow covered the day,

And tomorrow was far enough out of the way.

Now I'm smarter, stronger,

harder to fool, Got scars,

got instincts, got better tools.

But wisdom ain't free,

every lesson gets paid— Sometimes knowing more takes something away.

No.

Yeah.

Never.

Because he got me here.

I miss walking in rooms without measuring exits,

Calling somebody friend without checking intentions.

Making mistakes without calling them lessons,

Living the moment instead of dissecting.

But don't misunderstand me,

I earned who I am,

Every fall put another damn brick in the man.

Wouldn't erase one mile,

wouldn't alter the plan,

Just wish I could tell that kid,

'You'll understand.' You're gonna lose people you thought couldn't leave,

Win things you wanted then question the need.

Learn being strong ain't the same as being free,

And becoming yourself costs versions you'll grieve.

But keep that dumb laugh and ridiculous faith,

Don't rush getting wise,

it'll find you someday.

I'm waiting up here with some gray in my face— Still carrying

pieces of you anyway.

Was he weaker?

Was I stronger?

Which one's better?

Wrong question.

I used to think growing meant leaving him behind.

Turns out he's still here.

Just harder to find. (yesterday)

I DON'T WANNA GO

BACK— BUT I MISS WHO I WAS YESTERDAY! (YESTERDAY!)

I got better at living,

got harder to break,

But some things you gain and some things you trade.

I wouldn't change him and I won't change today— I just miss

who I was… YESTERDAY!

Keep going.